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Gold Coast Suns hopeful North Korea-US will go to war

The Gold Coast Suns say they are hopeful the US and North Korea will go to war, forcing their game against Port Adelaide to be moved back to the Gold Coast.

Gold Coast CEO Mark Evans said a large scale nuclear war would be a huge bonus for the Suns, saving them from significant travel.

“Wholesale nuclear war is rarely something you hope for but in this case, it would be like the teacher calling in sick on the day of a test.”

“We only said yes to this nonsense because the AFL said we had to. To get out of it would be a real win, despite the mass casualties in their millions.

“Obviously, war is awful, untold horror and all that but so is playing a game in Shanghai’s pollution.”

Port Adelaide Chairman said he would personally seek an audience with both the US President Donald Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un.

“I’m sure once I lay out my vision for Port Adelaide in China, they will both see there’s a bigger agenda here,” said Koch.

“Once I take them through the issues I’ve already had with the jumpers, they’ll realise I can’t add a nuclear war to my plate.

“I’m so close to winning over possibly dozens of Chinese fans to the Power.”

Sources close to Port Adelaide said their special envoy, the Cash Cow, is already in discussions with both countries.

The AFL said it was keen to send David Koch to Pyongyang, but that had nothing to do with the current political situation but rather a long-held policy position.

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