With summer over, it’s time to look ahead to the shining sporting oasis that is the AFL Season.

Soon our days will be filled with injury reports, terrible pre-season games and worst of all, the Channel Seven commentary team.

But for even the most passionate AFL fans, there are always bits of trivia that will surprise.

So here they are. Trot them out at the pub or at work so you can impress everyone with your footy knowledge.

No need to even check them for accuracy on Google or anything silly like that.

• The AFL are planning to one day have a professional team in Western Sydney

• The new interchange cap will be difficult for teams to follow because it involves ‘counting’.

• Andrew Demetriou is undecided where to holiday during the season. Spain is clubhouse leader although the Maldives is nice.

• The average cost of hot chips at an AFL game is $37.50. An option to pay in installments is being considered.

• Majak Daw is currently averaging 143 newspaper articles for each game he plays. This is the best in the league.

• Melbourne’s up-and-coming forward Jesse Hogan was negative 32 years old when the Demons last won the Premiership. Deep down he doesn’t believe they ever did win one.

• The AFL Grand Final Pre-Game entertainment will mainly consist of badly coordinated school kids forming a series of patterns on the field. It will still be better than Meatloaf.

• The staff at ASADA, have had computers installed to speed up the writing of the final report into Essendon. Training on the computers is scheduled for August. They are Commodore 64s.

• Melbourne fans will return to the footy in droves on the return of Paul Roos. The majority will be disappointed to learn Rod Grinter has retired.

• Essendon veteran Dustin Fletcher fought in both World Wars and invented ‘fluoride’.

• New Grand Final ticketing rules should make it easier for corporates to gain tickets and address the problem of too many club members gaining access.

• Channel Seven will upgrade their broadcast technology to allow for ‘colour.’ They are also excited to announce they are trialing ‘standard definition’ on their main channel.

• Brian Taylor has been locked in a studio practicing Harry O’Brien’s new name, Heritier Lumumba. Currently, he is pronouncing it Horatio O’Sullivan. This is a significant improvement on where he started.

• If you look carefully, you’ll notice Dustin Martin has a neck tattoo. It can only be read upside down and says ‘Your name is Dustin’.

• The Adelaide Crows have put down the running sled that injured Captain Nathan Van Berlo. A wider cull on exercise equipment is being considered.

• Cyril Rioli’s summer break was mostly quiet but was punctuated with some truly amazing moments.

• Sydney’s Mike Pyke is from Canada originally. It’s been kept very quiet.

• An expansion team, the ‘Western Bulldogs’ will play in the AFL this season. They are not expected to be competitive in the near future.

• St Kilda lost several players over the off-season and has downsized their legal department accordingly.

• Following the successful installation of lights at Kardinia Park, the Cats are planning to install ‘plumbing’ for this season.