The AFL is reluctantly releasing our report into the handling of the 2012 Essendon Supplements saga. We’re reluctant, even though we wrote it ourselves, which probably tells you something.

The AFL would like to start off by saying that we did an excellent job managing this saga, perhaps the best job anyone has ever done managing anything. Words that kept coming up when staff were interviewed were ‘smooth’, ‘seamless’ and no one said ‘a series of debacles that fed on themselves creating a super-debacle so large it had its own gravity.’

In preparing the report, it was important to the AFL that it would be written by people employed by the AFL and not by anyone with that annoying ‘independence.’

Pleasingly, those pulling together the report thought their bosses up the line did a spectacular job, as close to flawless as human beings are capable.

The review is mainly just a list of things we have already done to correct some rather glaring holes in our governance.

Governance is a difficult thing, you want to have some to be able to reassure people and mention it in media releases, but too much stops you being able to bury unpleasant truths or cut deals to make things go away.

The review found that where governance had failed, it was all Essendon’s fault. In fact, you can take it as read that this whole report is a long way of saying ‘Essendon were crazy, we did the best we could.’

Key changes recommended in the report include:

· The AFL CEO will no longer be part of the Commission’s decisions about breaches or sanctions. This is so the Commission can throw them under the bus if things go pear shaped. The fact the AFL Commission got damaged by this and not just the CEO was a big mistake.

· The capacity for the Commission or General Counsel to refer matters in whole or in part to a tribunal or another body, such as a sub-committee of the Commission. If there’s one thing the AFL needs more of, it’s tribunals with their hilarious inconsistency and bonkers decisions.

Outgoing AFL Chairman Mr Fitzpatrick said that the AFL report was a big elephant stamp and he had already put a copy of it on the fridge at home.

“The more I read this report, the more I realise the AFL did a great job, I did a great job, and this was an incredibly positive moment in the history of the AFL.”

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