Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.

On a Monday morning you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.

You’ve come to the right place.

Geelong v Adelaide

Jimmy Bartel is the handsomest man ever born. Why more footy writers don't focus on this is beyond me. It's all we all talk about at the pub. Robbo can do a full forty minutes on it and Mike’s not far behind.

Bartel’s aslo a hand forward pocket player, as his four goals on Thursday showed.

Geelong look set to easily win the Premiership again this year with their physical play.

There must be something about living in Geelong that makes you just want to go out and belt people on the weekend.

Chris Scott is obviously as good a coach as his brother isn't.

As for Adelaide, recruiting James Podsiadly is the WORST RECRUITING DECISION in the history of time.

Based on Thursday night's result, I'm willing to call it early; Adelaide will not win another game at Simonds Stadium this year.

North Melbourne v Essendon

So this is what Essendon would look like if they had a coach.

Joe Daniher is the greatest player in the league right now. He won't play a bad game all year.

All the Bombers need is a rev up from Tania Hird each week and they'll win.

I’m told cleaners found Bomber Thompson asleep in the coaches’ box Saturday morning. He nodded off during the game, such was the mental challenge of coaching against Brad.

As for North, their season is obviously over.

The Brad Scott era of Arena Football has been a total failure and they are a club in the Tasmanian wilderness.

It’s disappointing after so many people picked them to be the big improver. It seems a lot of people have never watched football before.

Hawthorn v Brisbane

Hawthorn are already this year’s Premiers but we need to go through a process.

Led by inspirational playmaker, Kyle Cheney, the Hawks stood up to a brutal opening half before asserting their superior skill.

As for Brisbane, this is such an improvement on their NAB Challenge game against the Hawks, they should be Premiership favourites by the end of the year.

They looked pretty physical, even given Michael Voss is no longer in their midfield after leaving last year.

St Kilda v Melbourne

The match of the round saw two of the competition’s heavyweights fight it out in a skilful, exciting game that showcased all that is good in our great game.

St Kilda have uncovered a great talent in Nick Riewoldt. Expect him to get more games on the back of Saturday night’s performance. No one’s mentioned it before but he’s really good at running.

As for Melbourne, this game stood as a big challenge in their quest for a wooden spoon.

In true Demon spirit, they got things done with a wonderful performance for those nostalgic for footy from the Mark Neeld Era.

Not since the ASADA investigation has there been so many mistakes and constant fumbling.

In positive news, Jack Watts shows glimpses of his number one draft status.

Melbourne’s careful strategy of slowly bringing him through the VFL over many years, is starting to pay off.

West Coast v Western Bulldogs

Adam Simpson is the best coach in the league. He has the Eagles on track for another Premiership this year and should be offered a 10-year, $9 million contract immediately.

The Eagles looked frightening, playing a team that would struggle in the VFL. They could seriously cause trouble for the Melbournes of the league.

As for the Western Bulldogs, you can see why they gave Brendan McCartney a two-year contract extension at the end of last year. You can’t have a coach like him poached.

McCartney is one of the few AFL coaches to have never played at the highest level.

It appears his players will one day also be able to say this.

Here’s the first part of Round One