Kevin Poulton, a 58-year-old salesman who has a serious but treatable heart condition and is mildly overweight, is suddenly one of the world’s foremost experts on the women’s synchronised 3m springboard.
The feat is equally impressive as Poulton hasn’t watched the sport at all since the London Olympics in 2012 and has never stood on a springboard, let alone descended from one.
“I’ve noticed the trick to a good two and a half, somersault twist pike is the splash at the end. You really want to get that right, the smaller the better,” said Poulton while eating a bag of chips.
“I’ve been really impressed with the Chinese and Italians at this Olympics. Of course I hadn’t heard of any of them a week ago but I pick these things up pretty quickly.”
Mt Poulton spent a full ten minutes explaining to his children the skill China’s duo of Tingmao Shi and Minxia Wu showed in their gold medal performance.
“Yeah, Dad goes a bit nuts every four years. He hasn’t even been to a pool since I did swimming lessons ten years ago,” said Geoff’s daughter Bree.
“He was standing up and pointing at the TV during the replay and saying things like ‘see what she did with her shoulder?’ like he hadn’t only just started watching it for the first time an hour before.
“Don’t get him started on the Equestrian Eventing. You’d think he’d ridden a horse before the way he yells at the TV.”
Mr Poulton said he was really looking forward to sharing his insights on the Rhythmic Gymnastics with the people in his lounge room.
Titus O’Reily is doing a live show 2nd September at Yarraville Laughs. Tickets on sale now athttp://www.yarravillelaughs.com/gig/titus-oreily