UN Security Council to meet over GWS Giants

Proclaiming the rise of the Greater Western Sydney Giants as ‘the greatest threat to the stability of the globe,’ United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon has called an emergency session of the UN Security Council.

“Greater Western Sydney’s academy zone must be curtailed, this is not the time for appeasement,” said Ban.

“The AFL star factory that is the Riverina, belongs to the entire world, not one club. The plight of Victorian teams as a result of the current zones is a humanitarian crisis on the grandest scale.

“The world cannot stand idly by while some of the the planet’s most downtrodden, poor, tattooed people, Collingwood supporters, are crushed under the boot heel of equalisation.”

On the streets of Western Sydney, news of the United Nations emergency meeting has been met with surprise.

“We have an AFL club?” said local Alyssa Renzi.

“Do you mean the Swans? I think you mean the Swans.”

Permanent Representative of Japan to the United Nations Motohide Yoshikawa said the AFL’s ‘social engineering’ was out of hand and need to be significantly curbed.

“Japan calls for the immediate scrapping of the Giants and Suns and a longer term plan for winding up the Crows, Eagles, Lions, Power, Swans and Dockers. We do however support a team in Tasmania.”

The UN has ruled out sending peacekeepers into Western Sydney due to it being ‘simply too dangerous’.

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  1. KobeCoburn

    TitusOReily Just wait til MrKRudd is in charge of the UN! He’ll sort these things out! And ship Eddie to China!

  2. GregDavis_cmail

    TitusOReily And Melbourne beat them in Rd 1!!!! #deesareback

  3. AshleyH30

    TitusOReily But do you think its fair that GWS get priority acces to the Riverina when they haven’t even had any contact with the kids?

  4. Corey Wickert

    Does anyone else get the feeling the Suns are the sun soaked,bogan,under achieving brother of the Giants?

  5. Jarrad Jeffs

    If the Giants become very successful, break into the Western Sydney market (or culture) we will all win.
    Our game needs to grow and we need to connect with the massive Sydney population.
    I just wonder whether a crap colour scheme like Orange and Charcoal is going to do it, but hey brown & gold is pretty awesome too and everyone pays that out!

  6. Matthew Blashki

    Euan McDonald-Madden this has escalated quickly

  7. Jamie Harral

    Campbell Brown went up there to show them how to be the best loose nut going, then Hunt certainly got the party started.

  8. Nathan Williams

    They just made mistakes that gws learnt from. Gold Coast just went after the best players available. Gws built a team

  9. Peter Catton

    I’m wondering why our game “needs” to grow, the AFL rakes in tens of millions of dollars every year. If an AFL owned and sponsored team begins dominating the comp, how does that help anyone? Fans of other clubs will be pissed off and let their feet do the talking.

  10. Bonjour_Pippy

    TitusOReily Victorian clubs should annex the Riverina.

  11. Craig Stevens

    To my knowledge, there are no privately owned clubs.

  12. Peter Catton

    You are correct but there are “community based/owned” clubs that will have next to no chance of winning a flag while the AFL provide higher than usual draft picks, extra funding etc etc etc.

  13. Daniel Cohen

    If fans of other clubs get sooky because their team didn’t win, it says more about them than it does the game itself.
    Amazing how loud the sooking is now that the Giants are becoming successful. No one minded smashing them for 4 years.
    They have compiled a great team, not just with draft concessions, but excellent list management to bring players like Mumford (and Brogan before him), Heath Shaw (and Cornes before him), then the current crop including Ward, Griffin and Scully, now Stevie J … and I’m sure that will continue.
    They are playing a terrific brand of footy too. Eddie wasn’t crying too loudly when he landed Treloar.

  14. Huge_spinner

    TitusOReily need an enquiry to find out why Hawks haven’t beaten GWS since round 11 2014. Maybe they have answers

  15. Peter Catton

    Agree it’s a great brand, and yes some of the older draft picks have been successful, don’t forget why these players are wanting to go to GWS, the cash & draft picks have put them into an extremely strong position, a position that no other new club were ever afforded………, hey, it’s not their fault, good luck to them, but they will be scary good for a number of years.

  16. Matt Saroni

    I think 1992 Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross needs to do a speech for Eddie, Swan, Cameron and McLaughlan

  17. Nick Shady

    Where has your podcast gone?? The Dee’s too successful?!!!

  18. lindybassett

    TitusOReily Waste of time. We already know the outcome. #freekickhawthorn

  19. Rodger Braid

    Bring in Donald Trump to build a wall around Western Sydney.

  20. kowbay

    AshleyH30 TitusOReily Good point Ashely but not as entertaining as TItus’.
    But it is true that Victorian clubs like to wail about the unfairness of things in other states that they’ve already agreed to and then impose penalties on the Swans for not breaking any rules.

  21. Wayne1609

    TitusOReily so it’s not so much needing Boutros Boutros-Ghali but defending Fern Tree Gully

  22. Stewart McAllister

    I would be more worried about the possibility of them defecting to North Korea

  23. Aaron Grogs

    draft picks just get you a skinny unproven kid. im more worried how a club like geelong can get a ready-to-go dangerfield

  24. Peter Catton

    Couple free agency with the power of the p—y my friend, that’s how Geelong got him.

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