Things to say during the 2015 AFL Grand Final

If you haven’t paid a lot of attention to the AFL this season or worse, aren’t interested in football (what’s wrong with you? Seriously, do you hate fun?), here’s some helpful things to say to appear knowledgeable.

  • I thought Hawthorn weren’t going to wear their awful jumper today
  • So all these Eagles players are on drugs? Wasn’t that in the paper? Really? A decade ago? So not these guys? Oh.
  • You just get the feeling the next goal is important
  • Luke Hodge seems like a top bloke
  • Does anyone know the name of that Eagles player?
  • These umpires are terrible. (Best to wait for the game to start with this one but it’s not essential)
  • These commentators are terrible. (No need to wait for the game to start)
  • Did you see Nat Fyfe’s Brownlow speech? It was amazing. He formed full sentences and everything
  • It’s the possessions Cyril doesn’t get that makes him the best
  • The (insert losing teams name) need to get some handball receives going or something
  • Who’s Bryan Adams?
  • Who’s Ellie Goulding?
  • Why is Chris Isaak a judge on X Factor? Has he got money troubles?
  • Is that Wayne Carey? Someone’s hired him and put him on TV? What about all that stuff?
  • Is incorrect disposal even a thing anymore?
  • Have they told us what Bruce is watching on Presto yet? Is it Shawshank Redemption? They almost all choose Shawshank.
  • The fact we’re made to have a preference between the Hawks or the Eagles proves there is no god
  • Jarryd Hayne’s been good today.

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  1. Neil Belza

    Tom Fisher Fraser Nelson Jack Genesin little research before tomorrow

  2. Melinda Cain

    Scott Cain be prepared for a few of these tomorrow!!! Haha! Titus gold as usual!!

  3. Kyle Summers

    Aaron Ilsley John Munn “Luke Hodge seems like a top bloke” U0001f602

  4. Jacob Arnel

    Missing the most important thing to say

  5. Blair Boyle

    The second last one and the Cyril one are the best.

  6. Matthew Bruce Herbert

    It’s the deliciousness that Rioli doesn’t demonstrate that makes him so delicious

  7. Bonjour_Pippy

    TitusOReily So accurate, what a summation. As nervous as I am will stay in my head tomorrow Ha ha!

  8. Michael P. Moodie

    The fact we’re made to have a preference between the Hawks or the Eagles proves there is no god
    Sheriff Rosco

  9. Blake Grey

    Chris Bellman haha “it’s the possessions Cyril doesn’t get that makes him the best”

  10. Hannah Barry

    “The fact we’re made to have a preference between the Hawks or the Eagles proves there is no god” literally me

  11. Glenn Hay

    Rosie Hay Nat Oliver Alison McPherson Ferrier here are some tips if you feel the need to converse with the men tomorrow

  12. Rebecca Nicholson

    Shawshank Redemption – gold! What is it with blokes and that movie? Karen Heidtmann

  13. Alison McPherson Ferrier

    Lol, like any of us have struggled to find something to say

  14. Tahmeika Napier

    Jake Napier haha perfect!! We are set!!! Doug Muller

  15. Nat Oliver

    Is talking allowed while watching football? What about singing?

  16. AlbertonPower

    TitusOReily Got a mate who knows a bloke, Dangerfield WILL end up at Geelong.

  17. Catherine Stewart

    Sarah Stewart you’ll appreciate a few of these.

  18. Glenn Hay

    48 hour ban on singing at the completion of the game

  19. Jackson Alexander Woodward

    Nick Pincott Jarryd Hayne has been good today

  20. akc1973

    TitusOReily ‘It’s the possessions Cyril doesn’t get that makes him the best’ – pure gold!!

  21. Darcy Kraljev

    Nick Funnell Billy Brigham Christos Karykis just need “Full credit to the boys”

  22. Ian Burgess

    Dermie is due a big match. Been quiet for a while!

  23. Malcolm Makkinga

    It’s also things other teams’ fans can say to appear interested.

  24. Jacob Arnel

    Bree considering the fact I’m a collingwood supporter they would be my first preference

  25. Raff Scarfo

    Lol it’s the possessiona Cyril doesn’t get that make Cyril the best lol

  26. Caity Merritt

    Hahaha I’ll definitely be needing this today!

  27. Madeleine O'Connor

    hahaha yesss. but wheres “go you little aboriginal man” or whatever i said haha :’)

  28. Kat Brown

    Thanks mate. This will come in very handy this arvo. Especially now that Judd character has gone

  29. Travis Whelan

    Jack Naughton Timothy Peter Saveneh Tim Ling Chris Broderick Matt Whelan

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