Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.
On a Monday you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.
What you really want is idiotic hysteria.
You’ve come to the right place.
Geelong (140) v Carlton (63)
The relentless assault of Carlton on our Friday nights continued and like previous instalments it was a disaster of epic proportions.
I laughed when I heard Murphy and Gibbs were declared safe from being traded and then they both threw their support behind Mick.
Both Murphy and Gibbs go missing more often than my car keys and if they supported Mick they might want to show it on the field.
The only bit of spirit the Blues showed was from Ed Curnow who kept Selwood to 16 possessions. It was nice seeing a player in a Blues uniform trying, it felt nostalgic, like I was back in the mid-nineties.
Dale Thomas reminded people he was still in the AFL with two goals but his 14 possessions were not worth every penny though.
Geelong were like someone pushing on a door only to find out it was not only open but the house behind it had fallen down and rats were now living there.
The Cat’s young players looked good but that’s like saying they looked good at training.
St Kilda (78) v West Coast (131)
So the Eagles have been good but their wins have been against Carlton, Brisbane, GWS, Port Adelaide, Gold Coast and St Kilda.
With the exception of the Giants that’s not exactly an impressive list. Their losses have been to the Dockers and the Bulldogs.
I’m not saying they’re a bad team, they’ve been very good in a lot of those matches, I’m just saying we’re yet to really know how good they are.
Next week they play Geelong, which should be a good test for them.
The Saints were again competitive but lacked that extra bit of polish to match the Eagles.
They did pull a crowd of 23,598 at Etihad Stadium though, making them a bigger draw card than Carlton. Perhaps they should be scheduled for every Friday night.
Greater Western Sydney (108) v Adelaide (84)
The Giants have finally come of age, which is nice, that awkward puberty phase is never pleasant. All that oily skin and weird urges.
One thing that is really annoying me is people mentioning the Giants doing something for the first time in their history. They’ve been around for two seconds; almost everything they do is for the first time in their history.
It’s like having a baby and saying, ‘this is their first time in their history they’ve been in the living room.’
Still, credit where credit is due, the Giants had real moments of brilliance in this one. They ran the ball in waves that just consumed the Crows defence.
There were glimpse of their future and it was more frightening than accidentally stumbling upon The Footy Show as you flick channels.
Adelaide are much like they were last year, a secondary character in the AFL drama. Sure, they have a few good scenes but they’re never the star and they can’t be trusted with the pivotal moments.
Like a Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri of the AFL.
Gold Coast (63) v Collingwood (132)
Everyone’s favourite fraternity house, the Gold Coast Suns continued on their disappointing and at times amusing season.
‘Rocket’ Rodney Eade seems to have blown up on the launch pad and we are watching a train wreck of a club running around or is that mixing metaphors?
It’s at this point I’d like to remind everyone that this was the year their Chair said they’d win a Premiership.
Where’s the call for a new Chair and a new board? The Suns are lucky they’re irrelevant in every other part of the country or the media would be smashing them.
This was really a celebration of Scott Pendlebury’s 200th game and he marked it with 35 disposals and three goals.
That’s what a top player can do when his opponents ignore him like salad at a buck’s party.
Really, the Pies were good but the Suns were just so bad that Jesse White kicked four goals.
Hawthorn (69) v Sydney (73)
The Swans were accused of not turning up for last year’s Grand Final but they showed up here when it didn’t matter anywhere near as much.
But still, revenge or similar!
This was an intense match, worthy of two top teams with some of the best talent in the game.
Sydney started out very strong, stunning the Hawks with a six goal blitz but the Swans just failed to land the knock out blow and the Hawks slowly worked back into the game.
It was like Alastair Clarkson did some of that coaching stuff the commentators allude to but don’t actually understand.
It was the defensive work of Cyril Rioli that sparked the Hawks and he was special, exciting, amazing, magic and all those other things people seem to bang on about.
It was great when he took a normal mark on the lead and one of the commentators said ‘no one else in the league could do that.’ I’m not sure what league they were referring to.
The Hawks not only got back in the game but looked like winning it. In the battle of the two expensive free agents, James Frawley took Franklin out of the game in an impressive performance.
When it looked like the Hawks might get over the line, Jarrad McVeigh went forward and booted two goals to get the Swans the lead.
It was still a close run thing though. Luke Breust had a set shot from 40m out, which he surprisingly missed and Rioli fumbled in the dying seconds in the goal square but boy was it an exciting fumble. No one in the league can fumble like he does.
It was a great win for Sydney and for the Hawks it will be a week of practicing their goal kicking.
Fremantle (115) v North Melbourne (42)
Last year, the Kangaroos won this game. That seems like a very long time ago watching this.
Brad Scott can be pretty thankful the media is distracted by Mick Malthouse and something called a ‘Eurovision’.
North are going backwards and not slowly I should add. I guess adding Jarrad Waite doesn’t solve all your problems after all. Weird huh?
The Kangaroos struggled under Fremantle’s relentless pressure. The midfield’s kicking into their forward fifty had the accuracy of a FOX News report.
The Dockers continue to impress and Nat Fyfe used his 100th game to send a message that he has got this football thing down pat.
He had 37 disposals and was again well supported by Michael Barlow, David Mundy and Lachie Neale.
That midfield is actually monotonous in their brilliance. You just expect it of them.
In fact, this is a rare Ross Lyon team; they’re actually exciting to watch.
The Dockers pressure in their own forward fifty was something else and North melted down faster than Mal Meninga launching his political career.
Essendon (136) v Brisbane (78)
The most well known AFL team in Switzerland took the chocolates in a performance of clockwork precision.
Actually, it wasn’t that impressive, they were after all only playing Brisbane, a team that has only beaten Carlton and Port Adelaide (remember when they were good?).
Still, for the Bombers it was a much-needed win and showed the continuing development of Joe Daniher who booted six goals.
Essendon’s defence is good too, Michael Hurley was terrific and it’s nice to no longer have the ‘should he play forward or back’ debate every five minutes.
The Lions stuck with the Bombers in the first half and Tom Rockliff was back to his best after an interrupted start to the season.
The third quarter was the difference though; the Bombers just dominated possession and pilled on the goals.
Melbourne v Western Bulldogs
It’s not every day that Melbourne doesn’t lose. In fact, I think they call it ‘winning’ in some parts of town.
The Bulldogs seemed to have nothing resembling a ruckman on the field in this one and it showed.
In fact, Ayce Cordy made Jake Spencer look like the greatest ruckman who ever laced boots.
The Dogs dominated the first half for long stretches and most Dees fans would not have been confident but the Bulldogs inaccuracy kept Melbourne around.
It then started to click for Melbourne. Suddenly their midfield showed endeavour that has been sorely lacking in the past three rounds.
Jesse Hogan was superb and is proving to be a rare player who actually lives up to the hype.
On the other side, Tom Boyd looked lost and was subbed off in the third quarter with just one handball.
It was a great win by the Dees but the question for fans is where was this effort the past three weeks?
Port Adelaide v Richmond
Damn the Port Adelaide players, don’t they know they’re ruining the best match day experience in the competition?
Soon fans will leave the moment the last notes of ‘Never Tear us Apart’ are played.
It was pretty disappointing the Power team couldn’t get this done in Kane Cornes 300th and final game but more worrying is the general slide they are on.
As the football community has gotten to know the Power in recent seasons, the more we can see their flaws. It’s like a relationship, what once seemed exciting is now wearing a little thin.
This was a terrible performance and it’s hard to pinpoint where it’s going wrong for the Power, mainly because a lot of things are going wrong.
Their forward line, which can look potent at times, barely troubled the scorers and accuracy seemed a mystical foreign land to the Power.
In fact it seemed kicking out of bounds on the full was a team goal Port had set themselves, one they obviously exceeded too.
That’s not to say the Power are a terrible side but the difference from their best and their worst is wider than an IMAX screen.
This was an impressive win by Richmond, especially considering they were returning to the scene of one of their worst performances in recent memory (although that’s a crowded field).
Brett Deledio again underlined his importance to the Tigers with 28 possessions and Brandon Ellis was very good.
Up forward, Jack Riewoldt kicked four in a solid performance.
Have the Tigers turned the corner on the season? Maybe. That’s the thing about Richmond, like Tinder, the results are highly unpredictable.