Lately, I’ve received more questions than it’s been possible to answer on the podcast, so I thought I’d answer some here. Thanks to all who sent them in.
West Indies Tour
Who scored more during the first test – Chris Gayle or the West Indies? Chris Dore via Facebook
This isn’t even a fair competition. Gayle hasn’t actually retired from the five-day game (let’s pretend it’s still five days) but is actually out with a ‘stiff back’. That pretty much answers your question right there.
Gayle has actually hit back at critics of the team saying, “if you want to bash the cricket, you bash me basically. You don’t really have to be so harsh on West Indies cricket. We are loved around the world.”
I think what Gayle is missing is that he may be loved around the world (hence the bad back) but it’s actually the West Indies of the 1980s that are loved. Everything since then has been basically the equivalent of the Star Wars prequels.
People seem to love sh**ting on the W/Indies saying they aren’t the classic side they used to be but that was over 10+ years ago. That’s like criticizing the Chicago Bulls because they don’t have Michael Jordan anymore. Surely we can find something else to say? Ash Harvey via Twitter
I think wanting the media to come up with a less lazy approach is a big ask but probably a fair one.
A more realistic description of the West Indies is ‘Bangladesh without any chance of improvement.’
To be fair though, I think the Bulls have really gone downhill since Michael Jordan left.
Will this damage Australia’s cricketing future by denying the Kanga cricket kids a chance to play at lunch on days 4 and 5? Aaron Wait via Facebook
It certainly will, although a game of Kanga cricket would last longer than most of these tests and would definitely attract a bigger crowd.
Actually, it’s possible kids may now be more attracted to cricket more due to the fact that the pay is going up but the hours are going down. I can’t think of too many jobs were that’s the case.
Usually employers want you to work a lot more for a significantly reduced pay check.
The only comparable industry is the UFC in terms of hours but that involves someone trying to really hurt you.
Boof commented that Australia don’t need a specialist opener, does this mean the mighty Shane Watson will be picked again? Ugboot Shuffler via Facebook
We can only hope so. The current series is so boring that a bit of Watto lotto would certainly increase the excitement. I always felt the internet really lifted when Watto was at the crease.
Some of the finest jokes and schadenfreude in history occurred when he went out LBW. I believe schadenfreude is German for ‘internet meme’.
Channel Nine Cricket Commentary
OzTAM can inform you potential advertisers who is watching. Can they inform as to who had the volume on and is actually listening to Warny, Tubby, Slats and Heals? Ross Rennick via email
I don’t believe so but it would have to be high. Not that Channel Nine cares. Despite relentless criticism last summer, they actually bragged about bring back the commentary team unchanged.
It shows you Channel Nine are now just actively trolling cricket fans. It’s an interesting strategy.
I can’t wait until the internet streaming eats them alive.
Who would you prefer to listen to for 5 days straight, the Channel 9 cricket commentary team or Donald Trump? @SportsBerzerk via Twitter
It’s a hard decision. Both bring a fair suite of antiquated views and pointless statements. I’d probably give Donald the nod based on the fact he’s probably a better cricket commentator than the others but really, either way, this is a sadistic punishment.
How long until Richmond finish 9th again? Rodney Brand via Facebook
Rodney! Why the hate brother? Haven’t the Tigers supporters suffered enough with the annual losing of finals?
But yeah, probably next year.
Which invisible illicit substance/weapon will generate most AFL outrage in 2016? Gary Bruce via Facebook
Weirdly, this is a very sensible question. The AFL is being overrun by mime and it regularly dominates the news cycle for weeks.
It won’t be long until players are sent to mime school in France to get an edge on the competition.
I’m hoping this season sees Essendon get back at Hawthorn by using several players to mime Luke Hodge getting caught drink driving. They could mime the poker game, Luke getting into his car, the police pulling him over and the club letting him off.
Your views on why did it take so long for Paul Little to step down? @KimmerLions via Twitter
Poor Mr Little. He was a bit like someone that comes to clean your house and in the process sets it on fire.
He managed to spend members’ money on a range of bad decision, with the contract extension of Hird being easily the biggest misstep.
Paul then threw James under the bus anyway, meaning he got all the pain of sticking with Hird but then alienated all the Stand by Hird flatearthers in the end anyway.
He basically hung around this long because everyone else decided it was better him going down in flames than them.
Is Liam Pickering trying to emulate the great Ricky Nixon? @shaun_gilbert via Twitter
I’ve had my faith in player agents tested in recent years. Who knew they weren’t salt-of-the-earth types looking out for their client’s best interests?
Pickering’s alleged transgressions don’t seem to be in the Nixon ballpark but that’s not exactly something you’d brag about.
It makes me wonder, was Jerry Maguire not a realistic portrayal of a sports agent? World shaken.
Paul Roos believes Melbourne can play finals in 2016. Can we laugh now? Lee Greenhalgh via Facebook
Oh Lee. That hurts. I don’t know why you’d doubt a team that finished 13th this season and was last in the finals when Damien Leith had a song in the charts.
The thing I’ve learnt is that Paul says a lot of things. The Demons need to realise that what they say has less credibility then a federal MP. They should just say nothing. Show us all what you can do for a pleasant change instead.
Is Simon Goodwin going to be the David Moyes (or Matthew Knights) of the Melbourne Football Club? @peps220 via Twitter
Now that’s a bad analogy, in that it suggests the Demons have had an Alex Ferguson figure recently, which clearly they have not had in the 1960s.
If Simon Goodwin turns out to be the Matthew Knights of the Melbourne Football Club, I will be over in the corner sobbing uncontrollably for the next few years.
This is all very well but what does any of this got to do with Jarryd Hayne? Matt Barwick via Facebook
Excellent point Matt. The lack of wall-to-wall coverage of Hayne is a disgrace. There was a while there when based on the Australian media I thought we had become part of San Francisco.
The fact Hayne can’t break into a 49ers team that’s so bad they lost to the horrendously awful Cleveland Browns this week, is something I’m actually kind of happy about.
Proving that someone who has never played the game before can’t just waltz into an ongoing starting role reaffirms my belief that the NFL is actually quite a tough competition to play in.