Every year around this time, desperate souls write to inform me that someone has invited them to a wedding on Grand Final Day, the holiest day on the calendar.
They often ask for advice on how to get out of the wedding without causing offense but that’s the wrong way to think about it.
It’s not about avoiding offending the person who scheduled the wedding because it is the person who has been invited who has been offended.
Holding your wedding on the Grand Final is the most selfish thing you can ever do.
Oh I know; you’re ‘not really into sports’, well it’s not our problem there’s something wrong with you.
What’s that? The church and reception centre was free? Of course it was, everyone else wants to watch the Grand Final not see two people pledge eternal devotion to each other.
I’m not one to normally rank which people are the worst, I mean it’s hard, reality TV ‘stars’ are near the top sure, most Australian male tennis players, it’s a crowded market.
In this case though, I’m going to say people who schedule a wedding on Grand Final Day are the worst people on Earth.
They’re about putting their happiness before yours and they want you in return to celebrate that fact.
And give them a gift.
So responding is easy. Don’t. Even if it’s family.
This person is better out of your life for good. It’s over, the universe is telling you to never see them again.
Let them schedule things in the future on Melbourne Cup Day too, during the World Cup, while The Ashes is on; you won’t care because you’ll have cut them loose.
You’ll be free to spend your time alone on the couch watching your true love, sport.