The North Melbourne Football Club would like to unreservedly apologise for Brad Scott.
We issue this apology to cover both last night’s embarrassing antics and just Brad in general.
Last night was pretty bad, even for him.
Brad’s excuses are usually one of the things we at North Melbourne love about him.
They’re the most creative thing he does for us, easily more creative than his game plans.
But it’s better when he sticks to vaguely blaming the umpiring than specifically going into details. It took the AFL about two minutes to prove Brad was talking nonsense.
We’ve advised Brad to move away from constantly attacking the umpires and to go back to inanimate objects like roofs.
In a late night emergency brainstorming session, the Board have developed a list of excuses he can use as alternatives in the future. These include:
- Roof being open
- Roof being closed
- No roof
- Colour of roof
- The idea of roofs
- Climate change
- Regressive taxation
- Women getting the vote
- The increasing disconnection people feel despite living during a communications golden age
- Popular 70/80s singer Linda Ronstadt
We believe these excuses and our wholehearted apology will address the issue of Brad publicly calling into question the umpires’ integrity with no evidence whatsoever.
And again, sorry about Brad.