The New Zealand government has announced it will sever all diplomatic relations with Australia in response to this weekend’s St Kilda v Carlton AFL match.
“Why is Australia doing this to us?” asked New Zealand Prime Minister John Key.
“What have we ever done to them? Except for giving them Russell Crowe and at least he wins things.”
New Zealand High Commissioner to Australia, His Excellency Mr Chris Seed said ‘friends don’t send friends St Kilda and Carlton’.
“I know only expats will probably go to the game but it’s the principle that counts.”
“Kids could see it and then what? The New Zealand tax payer foots the bill for years of counselling.
“I mean they could have at least sent us North Melbourne if they didn’t want to send any stars over.”
Australian Foreign Affairs Minister Julie Bishop said while she was disappointed that New Zealand would sever relations, she did understand it.
“To send St Kilda there year-after-year is one thing but to then add Carlton? It’s just cruel.”
St Kilda CEO Matt Finnis said he was disappointed with the New Zealand government’s response.
“Don’t they know our strategic plan calls for us to have 10,000 members over there?”
“It’s an exciting opportunity for New Zealanders to see stars like Sam Fisher, Cameron Shenton and Tim Membrey in the flesh.”
Carlton refused to comment directly on the decision but said it hoped it meant Mark Stevens would be denied entry.