Following conflicting reports about how new recruit Jeremy Howe broke his finger, Director of Football Neil Balme and Senior Coach Nathan Buckley pulled him in for a chat.
Nathan Buckley: Sit down Howie.
Neil Balme: Yeah sit down before we make you sit down you little punk!
Buckley: Neil, what are you doing?
Balme: I thought we were doing good cop/bad cop.
Buckley: Why? And why would I be the good cop?
Balme: I just think I’d be a better bad cop.
Buckley: Only if by ‘bad cop’ you mean a cop that’s really bad at policing.
Jeremy Howe: Do you guys want me to come back…?
Buckley: Jeremy, yesterday you sat in that chair and told us you broke your finger in some sort of Frisbee accident involving a dog. I believed you because when you first mentioned the dog I thought I had a Mitchell Pearce incident on my hands. Today we hear you did it playing a Twenty20 game.
Howe: I told you the truth.
Balme: You’re not at Melbourne anymore Howie, people recognise Collingwood players. We’ve got witnesses saying you dropped a catch in the outfield at Vermont Reserve and that caused you to break your finger.
Howe: I did play cricket but that’s not how I broke it. It was the Frisbee, I swear.
Buckley: How does a grown adult break a finger playing Frisbee? Did the dog throw it too hard?
Howe: You’ve got to believe me Mr Buckley, you’ve got to. Ask the dog! He saw everything.
Buckley: Oh don’t think we won’t, Eddie’s interviewing the dog on radio tomorrow.
Balme: Seriously. Frisbee accident. Do you think Ted Whitten and Jack Dyer ever played Frisbee? Let alone got injured by one?
Buckley: Let’s say we believe you, what are you doing bowling medium pace while dealing with foot stress fractures anyway?
Howe: I’ve always done it. I had to do something to keep me fit while playing for Melbourne.