Ian Healy warns of the dangers of women

I’ve always enjoyed both women and cricket but mixing them is like putting two things together that shouldn’t go together, together.

The failure of Australia’s cricket team this week shows that taking partners on cricket tours, especially female partners, can wreak havoc on performance.

I’m not sure if it’s female pheromones, witchcraft or some sort of mind tricks that men can’t defend themselves against that causes it.

Perhaps it’s those ovaries they all have.

Women make a man’s elite level hand/eye coordination disappear. That’s not conjecture, it’s scientific fact. I think NASA or FHM magazine have proven it.

Don’t get me wrong, women are great when you get home or if you’re catching up with another couple but on a cricket tour they are an unnecessary distraction.

Now, some might say that blaming the partners is ridiculous, that it was in fact the men who failed due to poor technique, mental weakness and a complete failure to adjust to the conditions.

But all those things sound silly compared to the stark reality that it’s all the women’s fault for being a pretty but unnecessary distraction from serious men’s work.

So let’s remember that in the future, when there’s serious work to be done, let’s leave the women at home, there’s plenty of work to be done there.

Ian Healy

Sign up to Titus O’Reily’s Electronic Mail Newsletter.


  1. Ryno Neil

    Healy makes my ears bleed when commentating. Cause the poms don’t have the misso and kids at home do they?

  2. Abhijith Titus D'Souza

    There are horrible commentators and then there is Ian Healy…

  3. Ian Swann

    Is Healy taking about the wife’s and partners or the women in the team?

  4. Christine Boulter

    Yep those WAGS and babies have a LOt to answer for!

  5. Justin Thomas

    Are the tourists watching how the English get their runs? Do they realize the batting conditions are different to Brisbane and Perth? That’s the difference heals, you stick in the mud.

  6. Sean Stryker

    There is no doubt the wives and girlfriends are responsible for this pathetic result.

  7. Kelly Higgins Devine

    If there had been women in the team, they’d have made more than 60.

  8. misanthropicfcuk

    But if the women folk are left at home who’s going to make all the sandwiches? 

    Hell get the players to make the sandwiches and let the WAG’s do the cricket part, surely they can’t be any worse than the actual team.

  9. Joanne Everett

    Jo warns of dangers of selection and favouritism.

  10. aperebus

    TitusOReily one of the best headlines of read in a long time

  11. neilkimber

    TitusOReily A good David Attenborough doco on gem in lieu of ashes final day, creatures dying instead of Aussie reputations

  12. RMalacari

    TitusOReily Breaking- Donald Trump agrees with Ian Healy during live debate. Says it’s bleeding obvious.

  13. dean0820

    one day, we men will master multi tasking…. thinking about family AND playing cricket. but that day remains a seemingly unattainable dream for youngsters these days.

Leave a Comment