I’ve always enjoyed both women and cricket but mixing them is like putting two things together that shouldn’t go together, together.
The failure of Australia’s cricket team this week shows that taking partners on cricket tours, especially female partners, can wreak havoc on performance.
I’m not sure if it’s female pheromones, witchcraft or some sort of mind tricks that men can’t defend themselves against that causes it.
Perhaps it’s those ovaries they all have.
Women make a man’s elite level hand/eye coordination disappear. That’s not conjecture, it’s scientific fact. I think NASA or FHM magazine have proven it.
Don’t get me wrong, women are great when you get home or if you’re catching up with another couple but on a cricket tour they are an unnecessary distraction.
Now, some might say that blaming the partners is ridiculous, that it was in fact the men who failed due to poor technique, mental weakness and a complete failure to adjust to the conditions.
But all those things sound silly compared to the stark reality that it’s all the women’s fault for being a pretty but unnecessary distraction from serious men’s work.
So let’s remember that in the future, when there’s serious work to be done, let’s leave the women at home, there’s plenty of work to be done there.