Restaurant manager Kathy Bewick, 43, said she is counting down the days until she can watch 22 grown men run through a giant piece of crepe paper.
Kathy is not some massive weirdo however, she’s a member of a large group of people identifying as an ‘AFL fan’.
Every year between February and October, AFL fans build giant structures out of crepe paper called ‘banners’ and force a ‘team’ of 22 men usually aged between 18 and 34 to run through it to odd music.
“This off season has been tough, what with the West Indies being basically a disinterested suburban club side and the onslaught of tennis.”
“I cannot wait till that first banner goes up and the boys come out.”
Strangely, the banners often contain messages antagonising another set of AFL fans.
Head of Anthropology at Melbourne University David Fremont said this sort of intra-tribal taunting was a key process in group bonding.
“AFL fans may argue amoungst themselves but they are part of a large and insular tribe who inherently distrust people who don’t like Australian Rules.”
“Don’t be fooled, even when AFL fans seem at war with each other, they are still all part of one big, weird extended family.
“Building a large banner out of crepe paper only to have a group of young man destroy it in seconds may seem absurd to non-AFL fans but say that in the southern states of Australia and get ready for a life of being ostracised from every level of society.”
Kathy however said she couldn’t care less about over-analysing the traditions of footy.
“Australian rules football is the greatest thing ever invented by humans. Each day without it is a day in the desert with no water.”
“The worst NAB Challenge game is better than the best of anything else.”