FIFA power brokers say the eight-year banning of Sepp Blatter sends a clear message that they want a president who is more sophisticated at hiding corruption.
“We all know world football is spectacularly corrupt and no one is seriously expecting a change to a system that has worked so well,” said a FIFA spokesperson.
“You think the TV networks, the sponsors and everyone involved haven’t known about this all along? They’ve never cared before, they only care know because everyone knows about it. It has become super awkward.”
A CEO of a major FIFA sponsor said he was hopeful a new President would distribute bribes in a more careful and subtle manner.
“There are 209 federations who are members of FIFA, from all parts of the globe. You’re going to need bribes to make that work and lots of them.”
“But you can’t have people like the FBI or the US State Department upset that the bribery system isn’t working for the United States, that’s just bad management.
“We’re happy to pour heaps of money into the sport but we don’t want to know what happens to it. Bribe smart, that’s all we’re asking.”
A senior TV executive said she thought picking somewhere that was only slightly colder than the Sun for a World Cup probably made the widespread corruption a bit obvious.
“People could have stomached Russia if the one after was somewhere nice and western-y and didn’t kill lots of people while building stadiums that would only be used for a month.”
“While pretty much everyone involved with FIFA stayed quiet about that at the time, it was probably a misstep.”
A head of a major Football Federation said Sepp had been a great briber for a long time but had just got careless.
“Sepp’s big mistake was staying on that bit too long. It’s certainly going to make getting rich through kick backs and side deals that little bit harder for a few years.”
“We’ll find a way though. If there’s one thing that you can bet on, it’s that corruption in world sport will always find a way. There’s something really comforting about that.”