In an unprecedented but widely applauded move, every single person at Carlton has been sacked.
The Board, coach, players and even the weird guy in accounts have all been terminated effective immediately.
“No one person is responsible for the mess we are in, so sacking one person made no sense,” said just sacked CEO Steven Trigg.
“I mean, they hired me and look how well that’s already gone. You couldn’t keep me on and you couldn’t keep the people around who appointed me.”
Former Captain Marc Murphy said it was fair enough that all the players were let go.
“There are people on our own playing list who still think Chris Judd is our captain,” he said.
“You can blame recruiting or the coach but when the players don’t try to get the ball or avoid tackling like it’s Ebola, they have to take some responsibility.
“Getting rid of all the players is no big deal anyway, it’s not like Carlton can go lower on the ladder.”
AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan said while the move was drastic it wouldn’t make the club any worse.
“It’s probably well overdue. I knew Carlton were in real trouble when Melbourne request a priority pick on their behalf.”
However, fans have said the move does not go far enough. Long time fan Dorothy Medea said she would have liked to have sacked some people twice.
“They sacked that nice Brett Ratten so sacking is not good enough for some of these people.”
“I guess this is just what happens when you hire people from Collingwood.”
Carlton will field a composite team this Friday made up of Essendon top-up players, some workmen who were doing renovations at Princes Park and some Auskick participants.
The Blues will be coached in the interim by the marketing manager of Presto, whose favourite movie is The Shawshank Redemption.
As a result of these changes Carlton are now favourites for this Friday night against the Swans.