In a move that has shocked and surprised the NRL hierarchy, every NRL player has headed of to the United State to try their hand at NFL.
The mass migration, which follows Jarryd Hayne’s early success, is expected to both decimate the competition and significantly lower Australia’s crime rate.
“I saw what Hayne’s was achieving and thought why not?” said Daly Cherry-Evans.
“Sure, I’ve got a commitment to Manly but I’ve never worried about breaking those before.”
It’s believed NFL scouts are attracted to the size and speed of NRL players and the fact that by comparison, they are much better behaved than NFL players.
“They are a huge untapped talent pool for us and none of them have run a dog fighting ring or been convicted of murder recently, to our knowledge that is,” said Carolina Panthers scout Skip Williams.
“Over here they’re seen as badly behaved, over in the US they’ll be the role models the league promotes.”
NRL CEO David Smith said he was actually a bit busy working out how he’d stuffed up the broadcast rights and didn’t have time to deal with the loss of every single player.
“I’m a bit busy at the moment. Having players is not a key priority of the NRL and frankly it never has been.”
“As well as negotiating a new broadcast deal, I’m talking to Slash about coming back and playing the rest of that song he started at the Grand Final.”
Channel Nine said the lack of any players would make broadcasting the sport more difficult but they were already well on the way to making their coverage entirely pre-game build up anyway.