Celebrate ‘Tell It Like Kyrgios Day’ at work

Australians are being encourage to ‘Tell It Like Kyrgios’ in the workplace and inform co-workers of who has slept with their partner.

The idea came after Nick Kyrgios told the Stan Wawrinka that fellow Australian player Thanasi Kokkinakis slept with his girlfriend.

“Workplaces are often incestuous places but people often tip toe around topics like this,” said Shelly Rogers a leading HR consultant.

“What Nick has taught us is that it’s OK to try to upset someone by shaming their partner for something they shouldn’t be ashamed about at all.”

“This is a wonderful, transparent and honest way to build team culture based on shaming half the population for behaviour men do too.”

The initiative has already been welcomed by senior male managers.

“This is a wonderful idea. As a man, the double standards that exist between men and women can only benefit me here,” said Darren Castleman, who is Head of Sales at a stationary company.

“I’m dead keen for word to get out that I slept with Danielle in accounts, while she’ll be treated like she’s a terrible person.”

Communications Advisor Tim Sanders said he had already told Mike in finance that he’d slept with his girlfriend at the 2009 Christmas party.

“The doctor says I’m healing nicely but that my jaw will never be the same.”

“While I was in hospital I had some time to reflect on what a horrible, horrible person I am and that I should make some changes. So I guess some good has come from ‘Tell It Like Kyrgios Day’ already.”

However, some people have described the initiative as ‘horrible’ and ‘something only awful people would do’.

Charles Bremman, a Chief Operating Officer at an ASX50 company said he was more comfortable with ‘known unknowns’ in the workplace.

“I prefer not to know what my staff do in their private lives. There’s a reason they’re private.”

“Who would do something like this anyway? That’s not how a man behaves, it’s how little boys act when they are clueless about life and full of false bravado.”

Several workplace lawyers said the initiative ‘breached every workplace policy they could think of’ and anyone doing it would probably be sacked.

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  1. Roi Apostolopoulos

    Cool,so would something like ” hey Nick,ur a load that shouldve been swallowed ” b out of bounds ? Hope not cause I reckon it’s a winner…

  2. Corinna Slade

    What’s more offensive a 30yo leaving his wife and kid to bang a 19yo or being sledged about that 19yo banging someone else? 😉

  3. Lachlan Sloyan

    Well said, Titus, I like how you can get to the crux of issues like these with satire.

  4. Benno Napier

    Nathan-Super Coach-Thompson Darren Lloyd Jordan Hounsfield Hamish Bigwood

  5. Ryan Bilalis

    Gavin Moorfoot James Kropf, Alex Versteegen does this consultant work with you??

  6. Gerard Marquis

    Jai Russell John Elliman Daniel Lennard – he is awesome at this stuff.

  7. Lee Segat

    Rachael Davis you’d like this. Please be aware it’s satirical.

  8. Rachael Davis

    I’m sure I’d pick that up, but thanks for the warning lol

  9. The Original Buzz

    I am self employed so in the spirit of the day, I told myself that I had slept with my girlfriend.  I was quite taken aback by the news.

  10. Snert Underpant

    And now poor Nick was been booed unmercifully during his next game. Racist scum. Tennis Australia should take a leaf from the AFL before Nick gets too deeply hurt.

  11. AndrewDeakin

    No surprise that good-looking Kokkinakis was the beneficiay of certain s*xual favors. Kyrgios’s looks are likely to deter similar generosity. Kyrgios may harbour latent feelings for his mate Kokkinakis, with the result that pent-up frustration and jealousy may have motivated the spiteful comment delivered to Wawrinka. Kokkinakis may well develop a prudent discretion and caution in future dealings with Kyrgios following the events in Montreal. Irrespective of any further developments, Krygios has ramped up his entertainment value considerably, unless of course his tennis results fail to match his talent, in which case the Montreal incident will be just a footnote to another wannabe’s failed career.

  12. Nik Kapolos

    Corinna please get the facts my dear, he had already broken up with his wife before going out with the other girl. The reason the ex wife says he left was so he could concentrate on his tennis. Sounds a little strange when your 29 to concentrate on tennis. Would you like me to bring up the dirt on his wife? Or should I keep my mouth shut so I don’t humiliate you? Do some research before speaking please

  13. Bonjour_Pippy

    TitusOReily He’ll probabbly blame Pat Rafter for his indiscretions now!

  14. Paul Stenhouse

    Guy is a pillick! I don’t want him playing international sport and calling himself Australian! It’s not who we are!

  15. nick2121

    Our poor Nick!!!!!!! Wow,  the crowd actually boooooed him!!!!!
    Damn chocolate-eating fat Belgian racists!!!!!
    I hear our dear Nick will miss the next three tournaments as he attempts to recover from those hurtful people.
    I think Stan and Nick should run thru a joint banner before their next match, and any person caught racially-vilifying (booing) our Nick should be evicted or shot, preferably both.

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