Carlton confident of being player free by 2018

The Carlton Football Club says it’s confident it will have no players by season 2018 as it’s ‘Player Zero’ strategy picks up pace.

“We’re working really hard to ensure we have no players by 2018 and this trade period shows we’re well on track,” said Carlton CEO Steven Trigg.

“Players are expensive, troublesome and require constant feeding. Draft picks are much easier to manage.

“Having zero players also cuts down on our carbon emissions and everyone knows how much we care about the environment at the Blues.”

Mr Trigg said Carlton were confident of still being able to keep up their on field performances with no players.

“Really, who would notice? You can finish 18th with or without players to be honest.”

It’s believe that there are elements within Carlton who are less than happy with the ‘Player Zero Strategy’.

“I may be old fashioned in my thinking but I think players are kind of essential to a football team,” said new Carlton coach Brendon Bolton.

“At Hawthorn we had lots of players and a lot of them were also really good at football.”

“That was sort of the model I was hoping to replicate here but now it seems unlikely.”

Mr Trigg said the first stage of the ‘Player Zero’ strategy had been to trade away every good player.

“That’s coming to an end now but I want to acknowledge the work of my predecessors.”

“There’s just a few to go. I’m just about to ring around to see if anyone wants Patrick Cripps for a third round pick.”

When asked if Carlton members and fans should be upset with the trading away of good players, Mr Trigg said they were ‘not a key stakeholder in the process’.

Other clubs have applauded Carlton’s approach. “Every time they ring it’s like Christmas,” said Adelaide CEO Andrew Fagan.

Sign up to Titus O’Reily’s Electronic Mail Newsletter.


  1. KRUDLER62

    TitusOReily breaking CFC will be premiers in 2016 in the NEAFL

  2. thunderpower

    TitusOReily that’s ballsy , more like 2020 and then trade away 5 all Australians to get a 700k dud lol

  3. Travis John

    ‘Everytime they ring it’s like Christmas’ – Adelaide CEO Andrew Fagan

  4. katieoh9

    TitusOReily Who needs players when they have such a fine board of directors.

  5. Francis Tran

    Funniest thing I’ve read this month!!!! Laz Mark
    Cripps for a third round pick rofl bahhaahahhaha!!!

  6. Geoff Schaefer

    Carlton is like an oyster farm. Feeds the oysters for years then give away the pearls…

  7. Chris Millhouse

    Ben Lehner are they going to get anyone at all?

  8. Snert Underpant

    This is the Trigg Strategy. Good players want more money which reduces your financial position. He will soon be CEO of one of the richest clubs so can demand a higher salary.

  9. LukeAus

    TitusOReily carltons approach to players is modeled off the nbl approach to teams of ‘who needs them’

  10. Marty Schoo

    Could this trade away extravaganza be classed at tanking? Wooden spoon is in the bag already!

  11. Mathew Rodda

    You’d think that the success of Jacobs and Betts at Adelaide would stop Carlton from making another mistake by gifting them Menzel.

  12. Allen James Cook

    Brandon Soo Phil Proy Philip Tiffin Damien Maynard Justin Tolley Jay Katz PISSA!!

  13. Geoff Schaefer

    I believe Richard Tambling is still available.

  14. Tanya Hetherington

    Guys read the actual article it’s an an absolute pissa! Pure gold!

  15. Justine Nardone

    Players are expensive and require constant feeding lolllolol

  16. mjmcgeary94

    TitusOReily yet they’re still being tight with yarran

  17. Steph Kanaris

    Mark Homewood Dan James you’ve both always wanted your time to shine

  18. Geoff Schaefer

    Not likely Mathew, it’s what Triggy does best!

  19. Chloe Penn

    They could hold a competition each week and select 22 members to play instead – couldn’t be much worse.

  20. Mathew Rodda

    Paying over-rated forwards top dollar outside of the salary cap is what he does best!

  21. Adrian N Debbie Southgate

    They may never add to their tally of premierships, ha ha

  22. Simon Perham

    Ryan Orton I don’t like it but he’s not entirely wrong here lol

  23. MacHawk

    Some of these suits that come into the footy clubs seriously need to re-adjust. A footy club isn’t exactly an car manufacturing plant down at Geelong where you slash and burn the staff on a daily basis in order to temporarily boost the share price in the weeks before your next bonus. And this Trigg guy – wasn’t he the one who almost destroyed Adelaide before him?

  24. AJ Gardner

    Can you imagine how excited the faithful will be when we kick our first goal of the season in round 8

  25. Sean Scott

    He is wrong doesn’t he know your about to buy 12,000 GWS players

  26. Rhys Puchar

    In hindsight Titus, the AFL really should have allowed both Carlton and Brisbane to have priority picks for the betterment of all other clubs in 3 years time.

  27. Anthony Barone

    Yeah Carlton Soccer Club will be reborn, AFL Football isn’t profitable anymore for Carlton.

  28. Ryland Head

    I know you’re usually a cynic of everything, in the whole entire world, but this is funny Braden Younger

  29. Adam Pagram

    They’ll have yarran, playing in the magoos lmao !!!
    SOS approaching HIRD levels of stupidity as another favorite son f#cks their club up

  30. Josh Mackenzie

    Kristos ‘Everytime Carlton ring it’s like Christmas’ haha

  31. Phteven Wills

    Alls good again apparently half of GWS are coming to play for us

  32. A-ron Goldberg

    Carlton: What happens when you let a bunch of Abbott/Liberal supporters run a footy club!

  33. Hugh Kirne

    This is the best thing I’ve read in a long time haha

  34. JR0D7

    TitusOReily It’s all part of the #bringbackFEV campaign.

  35. JR0D7

    TitusOReily carlton to include a player guide in membership packs this year.

  36. Troy Lee Mulders

    Trigg still got crows best interest in mind betts and Menzel not bad!

  37. Ben Preece

    This post and the other comments made by the public are very funny. I’m supposed to be working. Stop being so hilarious

  38. Liz Di Fazio

    Not that I know who any of them are.. Except for kerridge… I know where you both stand on him

  39. Apple Green

    OMG hahahaha this is hilarious. Cripps for a third rd draft pick hahaha. Whoever wrote this deserves a pat on the back.

  40. Berkan Yurdakul

    It was late, but pretty great……. Kerridge future all Australian

  41. Tim Donelly

    If we got rid of Kruezer I would have disowned Carlton

  42. Stuart Gifford

    Cassandra Bubalou King, Anna Burbury, up the Blue Boys U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602

  43. Jackson Alexander Woodward

    This is perfect U0001f44c why do they insist on trading pit anyone who’s half decent?

  44. Rick Pearce

    Caleb Rudd sorry, couldn’t resist. Hi Jeff Wilson happy birthday.

  45. Rick McClean

    Brilliant. Worst list managers in the AFL by a long shot.

  46. Sam Millard

    Thanks for Menzel .. You guys really like losing don’t you?

  47. Sam Millard

    Yeah I think the on trade with GWS went well for you guys.

  48. Anthony Tassone

    The player free strategy is phase two of the AFL footballer free strategy

  49. Marty Pettifer

    James Newbury Jarrod Waterlow Tom Pettifer
    “I may be old fashioned in my thinking but I think players are kind of essential to a football team,” said new Carlton coach Brendon Bolton.

  50. Max Lennox

    Although in all seriousness, today was a good trading day for the club
    Let’s hopes SOS’s right about the GWS boys

  51. Kelly1Judy

    TitusOReily Jake Carlisle can sign up on a million dollar contract.

  52. Jessie O'Connor

    Hahah well whats the point in players tbh, still achieves the same hopeless outcome.
    We just traded Menzel out too U0001f622

  53. Caitlin Grima

    Hahahahahah I hate Carlton right now U0001f624U0001f613U0001f624U0001f613

  54. Jessie O'Connor

    Are they kidding with Menzel. Might as well get with of cripps too, hes good!

  55. MandarinSoy

    Still can’t believe they baulk at Pick 19 for Yarran. He is stale at the Blues.

  56. Brainy Tim

    Can Carlton please be Trigg & Craig free by 2016???

  57. johnawhistler

    TitusOReily I hear Jon Dorotich will answer the call if needed. And Cain Ackland.

  58. Joe Menta

    Just getting rid of heartless players who don’t put their bodies on the line and bringing in quality kids and another pick under 10. SOS.

  59. Tim Phillips

    Hopefully you can improve the 4 GWS reserves players you have recruited.

  60. J.p. Mase

    Funk Pumpa thought u would appreciate this haha! I reckon it’s a good photo to do one of your talking picture videos too hahahahaha Koby Lockett Scott McConville

  61. Joe Menta

    Have Faith in the process. Finally seeing Carlton doing things the right way. We will have some times ahead but moving in the right direction.

  62. Caitlin Arnold

    Harry Sleigh “Having zero players also cuts down on our carbon emissions and everyone knows how much we care about the environment at the Blues.” hahahahahha SO GOOD.

  63. Georgia Panayides

    ‘Im just about to ring around and see if anyone wants Cripps for a third round pick’ Stelio Panayides dead hahhahhaha

  64. Mick Andreotti

    he can laugh Mark Axl McInerney but at the end of the day he’s a port supporter so I guess I still get last laugh.. now go suck Charlie off berbec

  65. Russell Berbec

    Charlie’s your man Mick, I’m still not sold on him…

  66. Russell Berbec

    Carlton don’t want any talk forwards & we’ve got too many… Got me fcked why the Blues would trade Menzel, the kid looks like being a Star…

  67. Mick Andreotti

    he’s homesick berbec maybe if u ever left adel u would know what that means not to mention Dixon was one of the Coke heads pal so now u got monfries Ryder n Dixon all junkies mate lol then again u need be on drugs to wanna join port

  68. Mick Andreotti

    Menzel not a star but will be good if he stays injury free which so far he hasn’t but instead of shooting off at the beak do u research or was Hobbs right bout u?

  69. Russell Berbec

    Menzel was on 5aa you QLD Queer, he never said anything about being homesick & wasn’t expecting the offer!!!

  70. Liam Helenius

    Ahahah everytime they ring it’s like Christmas lmao

  71. Mick Andreotti

    been common knowledge for 2 months but shows sort of bloke u r if u listen to 5 double scum

  72. Mick Andreotti

    funny how we heard these things just before season ended n u heard nothing..

  73. Greg Judy Ross

    They’re all coming at us now Peter Clark Bayne Floyd Sam Ross Corey Frost Tom Floyd Kylie Holman Andrew Porch

  74. Sam Ross

    There will always be a place for us as the reserves team for GWS

  75. Mick Andreotti

    Carlisle just got busted snorting coke.. surprised port didn’t sign him up

  76. Peter Chambers

    bad luck your stuck with these losers took a wile but trigg was finally driven out of sa

  77. Russell Berbec

    Only talk was Carlton possibly looking to offload him you Qld Queer, not home sickness!!!

  78. Mick Andreotti

    get off ur armchair n do some research berbec… ur the queer pal it’s ur photo in the back ground of boy George’s latest video clip…

  79. Campbell Milne

    Ha ha! Classic gags going around by old mate Tits O’Reily and all the other Carlton haters. I hope this isn’t his day job! #notyourbestworktits

  80. Boseph Jirks

    Titus Orielly wrote the column not trigg it’s a joke column

  81. Malcolm Ashwood

    About time Trigg did something for the betterment of the Adelaide FC

  82. Walter Pope

    Hmm – maybe I shall just have to look at my picture of the 16 (yes 16) premierships on my wall. It won’t be too long. History shows this team don’t stay down for long. 🙂

  83. Russell Berbec

    Homesick…? LMFAO he was offered the chance to leave a shithole & jumped at it!!!

  84. Russell Berbec

    Hi Geoff Riddle, still think Aish is gonna be a Star…? U0001f61c

  85. Geoff Riddle

    Fact he’s only 19 still yes. Bout time u left your house and please stop talking football with me.

  86. Russell Berbec

    Left my house LOL
    You know little to nothing about me Geoff Riddle other than 2nd hand info from blokes that are FKN scumbags!!!

  87. Russell Berbec

    As for you Mick Andreotti, I can’t believe you’ve turned into the person you have, maybe I should’ve seen the signs for myself… You hang with dogs you’re bound to catch fleas!!!

  88. Billious

    The best thing about Carlton playing Friday nights is you don’t have to spoil your entire weekend.

    Menzel will be another Eddie at Adelaide he will fit into their playing style better than Carltons style, whatever that is and if they ever locate it.  They will be big improvers next year can’t see them losing a match at this stage.  Bolton smile is motivation enough for players to take the plunge put the body into the competition and make the ultimate sacrifice for the jumper and with any luck may end up in 17th spot if Brisbane can’t field a team.

  89. Christopher Hamilton

    Andrew Carolan this is some of his finest

  90. Andrew Pagnucco

    Shaun Adams Thomas Koutsodimitropoulos have you guys read this yet??

  91. Rob Jarrett

    And with Trigg they still manage to break the salary cap U0001f609

  92. killmebilly

    PhillipCoorey TitusOReily This is funny (sort of) even to a Carlton fan. Betts, Jacobs, Menzel, CFC developing a great Adelaide side…

  93. PhillipCoorey

    killmebilly TitusOReily don’t forget Waite, Henderson, Yarran

  94. killmebilly

    PhillipCoorey TitusOReily Ok Phil. Stop now. Things started going backwards when we gave WCE way too much for Judd. U0001f622

  95. MalSplianing

    killmebilly PhillipCoorey TitusOReily Oh but that great deal we got with Daisy what a hoot, thanks Malthouse

  96. killmebilly

    MalSplianing PhillipCoorey TitusOReily Another fine pickup. Knew was it over Rd2 when Kennedy kicked more than whole Carlton side…

  97. tully_johns

    JoshMeadows3 smileymcslidey “Having zero players also cuts down on our carbon emissions.” Win Win for you Josh!

  98. JoshMeadows3

    smileymcslidey tully_johns I actually feel very nervous about having a dig at you, as I know at some point it will come back in spades…

  99. smileymcslidey

    JoshMeadows3 tully_johns who am I kidding? We deserve all of it and more.

  100. Mark Ragheb

    Hahaha I almost cried before I noticed that it was just a joke! At least now I don’t feel so bad about Josh Kennedy, helps you guys make the GF but doesn’t do anything once you’re there U0001f61c

  101. deayts

    MalSplianing killmebilly PhillipCoorey TitusOReily is daisy still at Carlton? Lol

  102. killmebilly

    deayts MalSplianing PhillipCoorey TitusOReily Don’t be like that. He’ll be good for another 2 or 3 games next year… U0001f610

  103. 72nivek

    TitusOReily Trigg and Craig together are visionaries.

  104. deayts

    killmebilly MalSplianing PhillipCoorey TitusOReily you sure? He’ll probably be playing footy in Malthouse’s backyard.

  105. killmebilly

    deayts MalSplianing PhillipCoorey TitusOReily We’re stuffed. Shame I hate Adel(Betts, Jacobs, Menzel)& R/mond(Griggs, Yarran, Hampson)U0001f623

  106. Bonjour_Pippy

    TitusOReily Less embarrassing then letting good players go!

  107. mclellan_bailey

    noah_mudigdo already had multiple people show me this

  108. deayts

    killmebilly MalSplianing PhillipCoorey TitusOReily can always barrack for the pies.. 😉

  109. killmebilly

    deayts MalSplianing PhillipCoorey TitusOReily Now you’re just taking the piss… U0001f612

  110. Chris Henderson

    Charles King you ok with the latest strategy??

  111. Charles King

    Sad about Menzel mate. He really is a talent. And a bit pissed off we caved in to the Tigers. But, 4 inside the first 20 is a true rebuild I guess.

  112. joybelle46

    PhillipCoorey andrewjgiles TitusOReily. What a load of crap. Even the new coach kept in dark. Supporters of no consequence. #triggisidiot

  113. jhyett

    3vi13d AFLrecord CarltonFC we’ve got at least 2 more years to reach that target U0001f602

Leave a Comment