After Mitchell Starc went down with an injury, the Australian cricket team used the team’s ‘massage therapist’ Grant Baldwin as a fielder. Here’s how that was decided.
Darren Lehmann: Right guys now that Starc’s injured, we need to work out who will field in this historic day-night pink ball test being played under lights for the first time at the picturesque Adelaide Oval.
Steve Smith: I’ve got a few ideas but I think we should all take a moment to admire this sunset. I can only imagine the beautiful pictures their getting on the broadcast.
David Warner: What about the 12th man James Pattinson or Stephen O’Keefe? Sort of the reason for having them.
Lehmann: We released them for Shield duties. The Shield should be the top priority too, not a Test involving the national side that millions of people are watching.
Smith: What about Grant Baldwin?
Peter Siddle: What? The physio?
Smith: He’s not a physio, he’s a massage therapist.
Mitchell Starc: Everyone knows massage therapists are much better fielders than physios, it’s aromatherapists you really want though. Amazing fielders. Could we get an aromatherapists?
Siddle: Despite appearances, we’re technically a professional sport team. We can’t get the physio to field, this isn’t fourth grade cricket, despite Shaun Marsh’s involvement.
Smith: Massage therapist! He’s a bloody MASSAGE THERAPIST!
Warner: I hate to be the sensible one in the team again but this seems a bit silly. Surely there are professional cricketers nearby?
Lehmann: I’m afraid not.
Warner: Sorry, that just seems a bit unbelievable. Surely we can just get someone on a plane if there are none in Adelaide?
Lehmann: Yeah David, planes from around Australia are just arriving in Adelaide every few hours!
Starc: Hang on, if he fields do I have to do the massages?
Lehmann: That would be great, that’s the sort of can do attitude we need.
Smith: Right that settles it, we’ll get Grant to field and Starc can give me a massage.
Siddle: For what we are about to do, may god have mercy on our souls.
Warner: Can we get Simon from marketing to replace Shaun then?