AFL to ban imaginary spears at games

The AFL will ban imaginary spears at games following Adam Goodes ‘War Cry’ celebration on Friday night against Carlton.

The move comes after serious concerns for the safety of a group of Carlton supporters in the crowd.

“While I appreciate Adam was honouring his heritage, he could have imaginarily killed someone or poked an imaginary eye out,” said AFL Operations Manger Mark Evans.

“We can’t have people bringing imaginary weapons to games; it would be anarchy.

“The fact it was just Carlton supporters and wasn’t actually real doesn’t make it OK.”

Several members of the crowd said they found having an imaginary spear thrown at them ‘terrifying’ and were concerned at the lack of imaginary security.

“It was really scary,” said a fan that asked not to be named, “luckily a couple of people in the front row imagined some shields.”

“It still bounced off a shield and hit a chair. You can still imagine the mark where it hit.”

However some security experts say that policing imaginary weapons was very difficult.

“I’ve been warning about the danger of imaginary weapons for years,” said security expert Simon Elias.

“We’ve now seen a spear but it would be just as easy for someone to imagine a bazooka or nuclear bomb.

“The AFL need to hire people to imagine more security at games or we’re only going to have more incidents like this.”

The AFL says anyone caught with an imaginary weapon at games will receive a pretend fine and have to imagine they’ve been banned from stadiums for life.

Mr Evans clarified that imagining the sprinkler or lawn mower while dancing is still allowed.

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  1. Corpse_in_Pads

    TitusOReily and any NZ import is not allowed to perform the Haka.

  2. RJones137

    TitusOReily Should have banned imaginary chain saws years ago. Imagine the damage Brett Lee could have done.

  3. Ethan Morgan

    Well they did it to Mark Williams imaginary gun didn’t they?

  4. SERG1O_D

    TitusOReily to along with the ban on imaginary shotguns & imaginary throat slitting gestures

  5. thecheese01

    TitusOReily quite rightly. Air guitar is way cool but air spear throwing is simply irresponsible.

  6. Alok Rao

    Just wait till Travis Cloke’s imaginary dildo celebration.

  7. Mark Holcombe

    What about racists making up pathetic excuses for their attacks on indigenous players?

  8. Nathan Glennie

    What do you mean players? The only indigenous player I’ve seen cop abuse is Goodes

  9. Tim Bradley

    Gee up mate. Buddy kicks 7 but everyone is talking about this

  10. _CheekyBlonde_

    TitusOReily Your stamina on this is like…so hot. U0001f618

  11. chippalatta32

    TitusOReily probably your greatest tweet haha U0001f62dU0001f62dU0001f62d

  12. Daniel Barnes

    Just stirring buddy. When you play over 300 games, win 2 flags, 2 brownlow’s, you do what you want!

  13. roachy01

    ichymochek TitusOReily Kicking the sealer then hugging a Geelong fan in the crowd. Good luck to ya if you think they’re similar.

  14. bennyblanco1624

    TitusOReily 1 of your best for the yearU0001f602 imagine me crying reading it. I had to imagine a box of kleenex from an imaginary barry hall

  15. PurpleSookie

    TitusOReily I want to know how he smuggled it into the stadium!

  16. Adrian Tribuzio

    ““We’ve now seen a spear but it would be just as easy for someone to imagine a bazooka or nuclear bomb”..

  17. Alok Rao

    But when he does .. Those opposition fans better watch out

  18. King Chorf

    Just give him a real spear if he can’t have an imaginary one. Dah you people are stupid.

  19. Mikala Egan

    I hope they don’t ban imaginary friends, a lot of people will be lonely at the football

  20. julia_goo_lia

    TitusOReily ban Jamie Sowards six shooters pls!!

  21. Jimmy Wilson

    Luke Fairbrother Tom Fields Andrew Johnston Susan Skinner

  22. Debbi McGill

    Zoe Fawke, Lani Protheroe and Ryan Gillman McGill

  23. BrizLionGooner

    kellyhd TitusOReily It seems 2 be that way now days and it is from the most petty things. Instant response is ALWAYS “put a ban on it”!

  24. KimmerLions

    BrizLionGooner kellyhd TitusOReily people need to lighten up including presidents of large Melbourne clubs.

  25. kellyhd

    KimmerLions BrizLionGooner TitusOReily It’s utter nonsense.

  26. BrizLionGooner

    KimmerLions kellyhd TitusOReily Exactly, I say good on him. A few more out there could follow his lead.

  27. Todd Pender

    About time. The AFL have been to tolerant on all imaginary weapons. I take my imaginary hat off to them – hypothetically of course.

  28. Geoff Schaefer

    This may be your best post ever Titus! And my imaginary friend agreed!

  29. John Goodwin

    Or people playing the racist card when people disagree with them

  30. thommo57

    I’ve been sneaking in imaginery weapons for years. Now it’s on everybody’s mind I imagine I’ll have to be very careful….very careful indeed.

  31. Zoe Fawke

    Oh god. Couldn’t even be bothered. He is just an idiot

  32. Tim Somerville

    Rhys Harrop Ayden Sukkel Benny Tomazic Aden Chynoweth

  33. alycejasmine

    TitusOReily White people: we’ll celebrate Indigenous culture so long as it doesn’t make us uncomfortable. #indigenousround #onyagoodesy

  34. Stephen Goodall

    Brilliant! He has a point. It was only Carlton fans. :-/

  35. Debbi McGill

    Read it to the end Zoe it is very clever… and hilarious!

  36. Chris Beverley

    Not sure how much more of this knob I can take…

  37. Jayden Knott

    Liam Parker, Thomas de Sousa, Pete de Sousa, Mitch McLean, Mathew Lawson

  38. Banjorose

    paulharapin AFL Robbo_heraldsun dihara OMG have Heard It ALL. Banning of “IMAGINARY SPEARS”..AFL LOOKING LIKE IDIOTS !!!

  39. rodBEVERIDGE

    Banjorose paulharapin AFL Robbo_heraldsun dihara Yes, when Swans play Blues, real spears must be issued.

  40. cranerift22

    paulharapin Banjorose AFL Robbo_heraldsun dihara hilarious

  41. Daniel Cohen

    Goodes is a terrific footballer and icon for indigenous people. And a sook. It’s all about Adam.

  42. Mick Kelly

    Sydney play under a different set of rules to the rest of the comp Lee Crawford !

  43. Rod Mcleay

    Bret Lee has been using imaginary chain saws for a long time. Imagine the noise if that was allowed in the afl.

  44. Ancient Warriors

    Why can we not embrace our indigenous culture like they do in New Zealand with the Haka?

  45. Lesley Schapel

    He just looked like the imaginary tool he really is!

  46. Joanne Everett

    Bone man indeed! Love him. Elite athlete with wit . Not funny. Just love his karma.

  47. ktcita

    Ebswearspink thank you, that was many funnies. How is your weekend?

  48. Grant Wyllie

    I think this sums it up Christopher Grant Dunham

  49. Christopher Grant Dunham

    Titus is usually right on the money.

  50. Karryn26

    DameyonBonson Can they ban old white privileged men posing as commentators on FOX?

  51. Grant Wyllie

    Lucky those in the front row had imaginary shields!

  52. Christopher Grant Dunham

    I actually think this doesn’t go far enough. Air guitar playing can also cross the line when smashed Jerry Lee Lewis style. These have to go as well.

  53. OnTopicAus

    Seriously? Ever been damage done by an air spear other than the hurt of a racists sensibilities? DameyonBonson #Goodes #Adamgoodes

  54. pwoiter

    TitusOReily read this to my family at dinner tonight. Unified in our laughter. Then we got back to ignoring each other.

  55. Banjorose

    TitusOReily Oooo i was so frighten, it hit me in
    the air d….

  56. Bonjour_Pippy

    TitusOReily How about banning journos imagining fans are racist!

  57. TitusOReily

    pwoiter Glad to hear I could bring you together fleetingly.

  58. kendyason

    TitusOReily Search all bags is the answer #afl #spears #AdamGoodes

  59. sk248

    TitusOReily well they have previously banned imaginary cuff links

  60. eckaburns

    TitusOReily great read. Extend it to include a ban on paying those imaginary free kicks to the “divers” in the competition

  61. Aaron Christiansen

    Natanui they reckon. Mark of the year. #capper

  62. rudigermaxpower

    PJScoff TitusOReily cbananaman I can’t stop laughing!

  63. couch_specimen

    fionaleighwest CarltonFC I know TitusOReily works are usually fairytales & also there is no way AFL would ban anything Adam Goodes did

  64. fionaleighwest

    couch_specimen CarltonFC TitusOReily AFL imaginary fairytales at that

  65. couch_specimen

    fionaleighwest TitusOReily AFL there was nothing imaginary about Adam Goodes pretending to throw a spear at unknowing CarltonFC fans

  66. couch_specimen

    fionaleighwest TitusOReily AFL CarltonFC saw that. A bit one-eyed of peoples level of understanding. You dont understand so your racist?

  67. fionaleighwest

    couch_specimen TitusOReily AFL CarltonFC I’m not sure what you mean. But I think we can all agree Goodesy is the best! Proud of him! ❤❤❤

  68. PhilCartwright

    I don’t think crowds should be allowed at AFL games. Crowds lead to crowd behaviour.

  69. couch_specimen

    fionaleighwest TitusOReily AFL CarltonFC Best what? Diver, sook, figjam? It’s your right to be proud of him, just like mine not too.

  70. weissjoanne1050

    TMowarin adamroy37 LukeLPearson IndigenousX Haha! My outrage was building until……nice one!

  71. Daverclees

    If a white man did this to Adam Goodes, what would be the outcome? Think before you spear!

  72. thommo57

    Daverclees Maybe think before you type. It’s a man who is proud of his heritage as you are probably proud of yours. Nothing wrong with showing that in the heat of the moment. Didn’t hurt anybody…only the ones who imagined that they did.

  73. Daverclees

    thommo57 Daverclees Thommo, you might be surprised of my heritage. Gestures of hand cuffs, cut throat and giving the crowd the bird etc. were put into the category of bringing the game into disrepute hence fines were issued as a result.These gestures never offended me but it did the people it involved. Spears were used for killing, that was the purpose of the spear. War dance or not. spears kill. Giving the bird symbol to the crowd doesn’t kill but yet the person was fined.All I want to see is equality and people who are proud of their heritage, not a symbol of death on the footy field, no matter the context.

  74. Daverclees

    @OnTopicAus DameyonBonson Its called bringing the game into disrepute, not racism. That comment of yours tends to think everyone who isn’t on your belief level is racist. 
    Guns, spears etc. all kill. It’s how we perceive them that makes it different and the supporters of any team should have the right to be concerned for their safety, no matter how insignificant that gesture may seem to us. Violence on all levels is wrong and it’s not always a racist comment, to be scared of a gesture.

  75. illchangethis

    toninicho ThumpersAunt TitusOReily I’m surprised he wasn’t charged with possessing weapons of mass destruction.

  76. toninicho

    illchangethis early days. Citizenship will be revoked first U0001f609 ThumpersAunt TitusOReily

  77. thommo57

    Daverclees thommo57 Well if you haven’t read Aboriginal history over the last 200+yrs (specifically treatment from the white masters) maybe you should get a detailed account. Then I’m sure you would agree that he has the right to remind everybody of his proud heritage. So a gesture of a cut throat never offended you but the dance celebrating a mans’ heritage in the heat of the moment does? I think maybe you should be in another social media outlet if you feel the need to rant. It’s all a bit tongue in cheek here and that’s why i enjoy the read.

  78. Daverclees

    Thommo. You’re missing the point.
    The heat of the moment cost Adam Goodes a lot of scrutiny last year and now again he brings the game into disrepute with the spear gesture.
    The dance I can live with, the spear at the end wasnt really needed, even if was a dance.
    He can be proud of his history and in the moment but their are better ways to finish team work. His reactions on the field, everyone is now watching.
    Nobody cares about Adam one of the great swans players, its Adam what is his going to do next?
    What a way to end a great career, thats how he could be remembered.
    Thats not the legacy he should be leaving as a mentor but one of shaking hands with the Carlton cheersquad after the goal no matter how upset, would gave shut them up and given his team and culture a much better standing. Then he would be considered a hero.
    Dont mention how bad the Carlton cheersquad were in defense. Its a game and afl supporters appreciate a decent person/player. They probably would have cheered him on.
    You still dont know my proud history.

  79. MartinSeelander

    You got to be kidding, what a fantastic gesture for Goodes culture and the way he delivered it.

  80. Realeyes

    Go Goodes! So silly of people to let their silly imaginations run away with them. I REALLY liked Goodes ‘Happy Dance’ . He is a man and to display his Tribal autocthonous Origines was spectacular to say the least. Maybe he imagined the other teams supporters as Oz mega-fauna! What do people expect from these pumped up elite athletes that these guys are? A frikkin Boy Band dance…so that their imaginary sensitivities won’t be be imaginarily shook up!?! Imagine if the media shut the fek up and imagine if white ‘AUstrayins’ stopped telling aboriginal people to how live! It would certainly make for a much better Oz in my imagination. All those guys (across AFL) should be encouraged to use their imaginations AND do a “HAPPY DANCE” after kicking goals!

  81. Realeyes

    and…..when my team beats yr team i want a cup of tea black no sugar

  82. Realeyes

    Daverclees DameyonBonson Daverclees 

    Davercless! For Goodness sake, lighten up Princess!

  83. Gary Leask

    Maybe they should ban all West Coast supporters for booing Goodsey!

  84. Shane Giudice-Nairn

    Haha have a Garry gander at this noob Ben Culloton.

  85. Ben Culloton

    Another first class moron this bloke Shane Giudice-Nairn goodsey is a sook the germ!!!!

  86. Penny Beitzel

    There has been an outbreak of imaginary “celebratory” football kicking at the Sydney Dance Company.

  87. Belinda Sargentson

    Leighroy Robinson read this U0001f602U0001f602U0001f44cU0001f44f

  88. Leighroy Robinson


  89. Joanne Everett

    Sad! Could be Aussie Haka! Imagine all our international teams doing the Spear Thrower as a national pre-game threat to opponents. What a sight it would be Aussie v N.Z. in any sport!

  90. Dave Hurrell

    They should be banned, I saw someone hit his head on the seat in front of him trying to duck out of the way. You never know, he may have a rock or object in his hand! The seat he hit his head on wasn’t imaginary.
    Before you attack me, just having fun……

  91. Pierre Behnane

    The AFL should ban all supporters from going to any games Goodes playing so no more tears from him and Sydney swan

  92. Robyn Hay

    Most divisive episode in the history of AFL – I still believe there are faults on both sides and I will not accept that supporters of AFL are any more racist than any other group in the community and racism goes both ways folks – Adam Goodes has gone, but what he left behind will be the legacy of bringing social issues on to the football field, if you are happy with that fine, but as a Western Bulldogs supporter who has seen our player Lin Jong singled out simply for his ethinicity, I say to you Titus and your followers, get..over…it.

  93. Penny Beitzel

    Chinese restaurants in Richmond are replacing real chopsticks with imaginary ones in 2016.

  94. Roger Vaughan

    To quote Walid “Australia is generally a very tolerant society until its minorities demonstrate that they don’t know their place. And at that moment, the minute someone in a minority position acts as though they’re not a mere supplicant…we lose our minds.”

  95. Roger Vaughan

    Walid Ali – he nailed it. No excuse for those who say I’m not racist but….

  96. Neil Way

    This post was utterly perfect amongst a sea of insane stupidity from those on social media. Still one of the major shameful chapters in AFL history.
    Those who continue to blame Goodes should find a nice mirror to reflect upon their inherent acceptance of racism.

  97. Robyn Hay

    Sorry Roger Vaughan: I looked up “Walid” on Wikipedia and found a number of entries unrelated to each other – thank-you for isolating the particular “Walid” you were referring to.

  98. Jack Steen

    Damian Lane Michael Walker don’t ban spears U0001f629

  99. Robyn Hay

    “Utterly perfect amongst a sea of insane stupidity from those on social media”. No such thing Neil Way as utterly perfect and no it is not the most shameful chapter in AFL history – you know what is: the shameful treatment of Essendon players in the shameful drug saga.

  100. Nathan Hanrahan

    I can’t tell if you’re being serious or if it’s satire Robyn Hay – either way it is hilarious! U0001f604

  101. Michael Murphy

    What’s next…banning kids pretending to shot someone with their fingers and imaginary gun. The world has gone mad!

  102. Kym Tredrea

    The spear was imaginary. The over-blown sense of self-importance was real. Unfortunately, you can’t “imagine” that away

  103. Judy Higgins

    The singling out of Lin Jong confirms that racism is rife in the Afl supporters and they need to have a good look at themselves. Racism against any race is just plain ugly and unnecessary. Titus is right.

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