AFL promises to ‘keep tinkering for no real reason’

The AFL has reaffirmed its commitment to keep tinkering with the rules and their interpretation for ‘no real reason.’

Football Operations Manager Mark Evans said the recent shot clock mess, showed the AFL was still innovating in the area of stupid ideas and importantly, stupid solutions to those stupid ideas.

“Even though AFL is the greatest sport in the world, it won’t stop us implementing pointless gimmicks and annoying rule changes.”

Mr Evans said the AFL was also committed to persevering with pointless gimmicks purely for ‘the hell of it.’

“Look at the super goal. There’s no chance it will ever be in the regular season but we’ve stuck with it in the preseason for no rational reason at all.”

The AFL has also announced constantly changing interpretations to rules will continue to make things more confusing and fix nothing.

“Every time we make a new interpretation of the rules it confuses fans and players and usually solves nothing.”

“We also like to make sure the umpires enforce the new interpretation for a few rounds, before going back to doing what they always did.”

AFL General Manger of Stupid Ideas Simon Dachel said his team was already working on some gimmicks for next season.

“Next year, if a player is hopping on one leg, they can’t be tackled, unless an opposition player is carrying a sprig of thyme.”

“We’re also considering a new offside rule to make the free flowing, 360 excitement of our game a thing of the past.”

Mr Dachel said a new proposed interpretation of the ‘holding the ball rule’ should make the game almost unwatchable.

“It rewards neither that tackler or the player with the ball but the visiting team’s masseuse. It really is a work of genius.”

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  1. Corey Wickert

    Unless they agree to only enforce certain rules as a knee jerk reaction, I’m afraid I can’t take this seriously..

  2. Andy Watto

    One thing they wont tinker with – “free kick hawthorn”

  3. Mike Robbins

    gold! “Next year, if a player is hopping on one leg, they can’t be tackled, unless an opposition player is carrying a sprig of thyme.”
    Mr Dachel said a new proposed interpretation of the ‘holding the ball rule’ should make the game almost unwatchable.
    “It rewards neither that tackler or the player with the ball but the visiting team’s masseuse. It really is a work of genius.”

  4. Ev Fenton

    Soccer really needs to lift its game with regards to rule changes if they want to be a serious sport in Australia Soccer has only had two rule changes in 25 years. AFL can change two rules in a week!

  5. Matthew Passmore

    Well something has to keep the rules committee from becoming redundant.

  6. Ben Stone

    What’s worse is that they’re inflicting their OCD on the SANFL with this stupid Deliberate OOB rule.

  7. Malcolm Makkinga

    Supergoal is an interesting one. I’d actually like to see it in the season proper but since it will never happen and since the NAB Challenge isn’t even a competition any more, why bother having it at all?

  8. Hugo Von Winterhalter

    Excellent news. Keeps us older folk who thought we understood our game from getting mentally lazy.

  9. Ewan Turner

    lol 2?, i think your being to generous there lol.

  10. Ewan Turner

    or both. or, the tackler that drags the ball in to his opposition gets pinned for holding the ball.

  11. Deanrobbo68

    TitusOReily may as well tinker with rules especially in freo games like always!

  12. Michael Duff

    We had one paid in U13s at 9.02am on Sunday morning. Post 9.02am it appeared to have returned to pre-the Freo game. I rate the young Umps chances of making to the Big Show on that alone.

  13. Ben Stone

    Nothing like watching players shepherding the ball over the line to get a free kick instead of playing hard to win the ball.
    “It’s a bold move Sir Humphrey”

  14. Snert Underpant

    Last week I watched a game. Of the first 10 times the umpire blew the whistle, I only knew why on two occasions. If their aim is total confusion, they still have 20 percent to go.

  15. Sam Silvestro

    Run by a bunch of hacks so that’s what you’d expect. No different to where I work either.

  16. Will Manuell

    Finn Healy this bloke just keeps on producing call after call

  17. Simon Gray

    It still baffles me, the decision to penalise for a rushed behind. (Sometimes, but not always, depends on the acting ability of the player) when it has been part of the game for years, where a team can rush a behind to keep possession. Who could forget Mal Michael at Brisbane snapping a miraculous behind from the pocket in defence, right between the two goal posts. Then Bowden steps back over the line four times in a row when he’s called to play on from a kick in, to wipe the remaining seconds off the clock for a Richmond win, and we have a knee jerk rule change. Why not make it only a free kick when you rush a behind from a kick in, and not in general play? Or some other rule change that actually has some thought put into it and solves the issue without causing all the confusion and requiring a ‘judgement’ call from the umpire. It’s like they don’t even try.

  18. Prue Kearvell

    Your posts are fantastic reading U0001f603Thankyou.U0001f496

  19. Paul Ottaway

    as long as victorian based teams get every free they’re entitled to, and a reasonable number that they’re not, and interstate sides playing victorian sides get no more than a quarter of the frees they’re entitled to, as is happening now, there’s nothing wrong with the game. after all, it’s not about the number of free kicks paid, it’s about the umpires right to amend their interpretation depending on who the decision will favour. after all, the game is for the benefit of victorians and every other state is only there to support victoria in the manner they deserve to be accustomed to.

  20. siligaj

    TitusOReily its kinda like re adjusting the balls – Al Bundy style! U0001f44d

  21. Jack Chiodo

    This is one of the best he’s written for a while

  22. Paul Ottaway

    or change the rule that the defending team doesn’t get a kick in from a rushed behind, the ball is bounced on the front line of the goal square as is supposed to happen if the defender kicking out touches any part of the goal square line during the kick in.

  23. David McDonald

    Um what? Interstate home sides get the best run from the umpires.

  24. Paul Ottaway

    check out the stats from crows home games and you’ll see how inaccurate that statement is. statistics can be used to prove anything, but the most damning statistic this season, so far, is the umpire that paid 17 free kicks to the bulldogs and 1 to the crows. i know that there’s no law that the free kick count has to be even, but in a contact sport the probability of 1 team committing 17 offences that warrant a free while the other team commits 1 is stretching the law of probability way beyond breaking point. a free kick count of 9-9 isn’t all that likely either, so 10-8 or even 11-7 is within the realms of possibility. 12-6 and you’d start to think that maybe that particular umpire wasn’t as impartial as he should be. 13-5, 14-4 and you’d be justified in thinking that the umpire was biased. 15-3, 16-2 or 17-1 and the only logical explanation is that the umpire in question blatantly cheated in favour of 1 team. the fact that he didn’t receive a “please explain” from the umpiring board of management only reinforces that they condone the blatant cheating as long as it favours the team that they want it to favour. has that answered you david mcdonald?

  25. Robbie Rankine

    Tom, Troy, Rhys, Ryan – I think this is some of his best ever work….. U0001f61c

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