AFL announces new Rule Tinkering Unit

The AFL has created a new ‘Rule Tinkering Unit’ to enable it to mess around with the laws of the game in ‘innovative and exciting new ways’.

AFL General Manager Football Operations Mark Evans said changing the rules for no real reason is one of the governing body’s strengths but has previously never had the dedicated resources required.

“With this new unit, we’ll be able to tinker with more rules, more often and in sillier ways.”

“Just think, one day we may even be able to tinker with rules mid-game. It’s not something we can do now but that’s the dream.”

New head of the Rule Tinkering Unit Michael Johansson, a former management consultant, said he was excited at the prospect of constantly change things for the sake of it with no real purpose in mind.

“Being a management consultant has taught me to create plans and recommendations devoid of any connection to reality,” said Mr Johansson.

“Changing things for no real reason is how you create busy work that keep people employed and provide stuff for media pundits to argue over.

“Our unit will be able to create constant tinkering work by developing new tinkers to fix things our previous tinkers broke. It’s the closest thing humanity has come to a perpetual motion machine.”

The AFL said the Rule Tinkering Unit is part of it’s restructure which has already seen the overhaul of its Cover Up Unit and the establishment of the Fan Gouging Unit.

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  1. geekOnaught

    TitusOReily Only days away from announcing their “Heartland Protection Unit” also – or so my sources tell me.

  2. NHadjiangeli

    TitusOReily the first rule of rule tinkering is that you don’t talk about rule tinkering

  3. 72nivek

    TitusOReily professional sports need professional units. This is a great step forward, backwards, a bit sideways and backwards again.

  4. JordanEliseo

    TitusOReily there’d be a few ex PMs that Could chair that. MrKRudd would be great if the whole UN shebang falls over

  5. RossDuckham

    NHadjiangeli TitusOReily I think we need to tinker with that particular rule

  6. AdrianNorthey

    TitusOReily and if it ain’t broke they’ll fix it.

  7. Jim Woodcock

    Did the fans’ association announce an overreacting unit?

  8. Bonjour_Pippy

    TitusOReily Disappointing they’re not tinkering with the M.R.P.

  9. Hugo Von Winterhalter

    This is the next stage of the Gill McLachlan grand plan to have absolute power over the vagaries of football. In his ideal world, he will simply be able to sit in his corporate box, raise a finger and declare any side the winner of the premiership, based purely on whatever generates the best revenue outcome for the AFL. This will eliminate the draft, a fair draw and pesky supporter considerations. And we shall all stand as one, raise a straight arm and chant ‘Hail Gill’.

  10. Horrie Chunter. Real bloke.

    Liked it better when you did satire Titus, not reporting facts as they actually are.

  11. Matthew Williams

    Umpires cant keep up with the rules as it is hahah

  12. Sean Lyons

    rule 1. When Travis Cloke takes a mark, a random spectator is chosen to take shot for goal. Min 4 beers consumed at game, though.

  13. Mark Brogan

    Sounds like where I work, except we call it the “transformation team”. It’s funny because it’s true.

  14. William Thompson

    Hasn’t KB been part of this unit for a decade?

  15. Thomas Alexander

    this is the most accurate post ever Todd Boulden Marcus Renwick Andy Johns

  16. kendyason

    TitusOReily Oh good. We need the rules tinkered with more often #afl #rules

  17. TheGovorkian

    TitusOReily does Mick McMickson from the Cover Up Unit get a gig in this one?

  18. geekOnaught

    TitusOReily and just think of all the online gambling scenario potential this unit could create. A new era of corporate footy is born.

  19. Julian Makin

    I know it’s a pisstake but it’s stunningly accurate. A fkin rules committee employed to fix something that isn’t broken. Stupid on any level.

  20. Llew Michael

    Haha sounds like the game I’ve made a career in – called IT!

  21. Sean Lounder

    Matthew Lucas Sam Matt Matt Patrick Jacob seems legit

  22. Steven Ellis

    I’ll have my money on the spectator kicking it if it’s inside 30 metres. Cloke seems to miss those ones and then pump them through from outside 50

  23. AndrewBeer

    I am a field umpire and when the new deliberate out of bounds and dangerous tackles rules were presented at an umpires meeting last week, another umpire said to me “I wonder if we’ll get out of the ground alive after the game” referring to how difficult it will be for fans to understand these ridiculous new rules. So don’t blame us in the middle (I haven’t found one umpire that likes them yet) – vent at the AFL.

  24. SunriseBoy

    AndrewBeer Hi Umpy, I apologize if my comment appeared to be directed at you.  
    It was directed at the “administrators” of the game.  You have to adjudicate the play via the rules.  

    I used to know an umpires advisor (Rod Threlfall in Bendigo) and really appreciated how he used to take time out to talk me through various issues of the game that we’d just watched.

    Since then being made aware of the incredible weight of skill an umpy needs and the responsibility they (you) have; all I say now is when I’m breezing past a game on the telly to check the scores, “Yep, umpy, you got that right” or “Well, I don’t think his mates would agree with that one umpy”.  

    But as for abusing umpires, all I can say is, only junk-yard dogs and mongrels do it. It is absolutely not on.

    You guys do a wonderful job for the game of AFL, I don’t care what anyone says.  They’ve never umpired a game, if they had, they’d keep quiet because they’d know just how incredibly difficult it is.

  25. AndrewBeer

    SunriseBoy AndrewBeer 
    No offence was taken @SunriseBoy, but thanks for the support. I was really only reflecting a personal view about the rules. Umpires generally have thick skins and those who don’t, well they generally aren’t umpiring any more. FYI, I am as critical of umpires as the next guy in the stand when I go to a game (and I agree with you about the abuse bit).

  26. Steve McCann

    What a disgusting night of umpiring that photo is from.

  27. Timothy Linnell

    Makes sense they’d use the West Coast Prelim as the photo as the umpiring robbed North of a grand final… Dylan Cleven Jack Sharlassian James Battye Mitch Graham Clayton Gubbels James Durkin Gavin Perera

  28. Mitch Graham

    Wouldn’t have changed the result of the Grand Final

  29. Timothy Linnell

    it would’ve, majak wouldn’t have had the chance to win the sprint

  30. Mark Hausler

    What they going to have a little tinker in the showers after the game? What’s new LOL

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