This week, North Melbourne and Hawthorn fans will travel to the mystical city of Perth to watch their teams play.
As a Victorian footy writer, I’m the perfect person to provide a guide to Perth because like most Victorian footy writers I barely know it exists.
Just like the the majority of Eastern states’ media coverage of the Western Australian teams, my guide is light on insight and facts. Here’s what you need to know:
- ‘Perth’ is located in a country called ‘Western Australia’ so named because it is located to the west of Australia
- It is basically a giant open cut mine
- A coffee costs about $17 in Perth
- The big tourist attraction in Perth is the ‘Colin Sylvia basket’
- Western Australia is at war with sharks and has been for several years
- Apart from mining, other major industries include Little Creatures beer and… that’s it actually
- Residents of Perth are referred to as ‘Persians’
- Perth is one of the most isolated cities in the world. The movie Mad Max: Fury Road tells the story of a group of Western Bulldogs fans making their way to the 2006 Semi Final against West Coast.
- The most popular hobby in Perth is booing
- Never try to introduce a mining tax in Perth
- Unlike Melbourne, Perth has a pleasant climate with regular bouts of something called ‘sunshine’
- While AFL is the biggest sport, Perth is also the last place in Australia where the NBL is still relevant
- A large amount of residents in Perth have English or South African ancestry but are still nice people
- Perth is often referred to as the ‘Gateway to Rottnest Island’
So enjoy Perth, Hawks and Kangaroo fans and remember to get the proper vaccinations for cholera and typhoid.