Richmond accidentally extend Hardwick to 2081

In an embarrassing ‘administrative error’, the Richmond Football Club has revealed Damien Hardwick’s contract extension is actually until the end of 2081, not 2018 as originally reported.

Under the contract, Hardwick will now coach the Tigers until he is 109 years old.

“Upon examining the contract, it appears instead of writing 2018 everywhere, we wrote 2081,” said Richmond CEO Brendon Gale.

“The work experience kid we got to do the negotiations and draw up the contract has already completed their two weeks here, otherwise we would sack them immediately.

“While it’s not what we set out to do, the stability it provides is amazing, we can really plan for the long term now.”

A source close to the negotiations said the mistake may be a result of the Tigers insisting on completing all paperwork using crayons.

Paying out Hardwick is now beyond Richmond’s finances until at least the mid 2060s.

Richmond president Peggy O’Neal said it was actually a positive that Hardwick now had the rare opportunity to develop youth at the club over the long term.

“This typo has actually enabled Damien to focus on the kids and even the yet to be conceived children of those kids.”

“He can immediately commence planning for the day he will coach Jack Riewoldt’s grand children.”

Richmond fan Sally Burton said the revelation was ‘disappointing’, a ‘nightmare come true’ but ‘not surprising’.

“Really, I’ve probably seen worst stuff ups by a Richmond administration. I mean Tambling.

“I suppose if you take enough steps backwards you could eventually end up where you want to go.”

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  1. Sporting_Tragic

    TitusOReily This is a stunning development, LukePentony!

  2. sefdog77

    TitusOReily Must have been a real prick in his past life……Karma!

  3. Trent Conheady

    Embarrassingly Richmond will have still not won a final by 2081

  4. Ben Worbs

    “Really, I’ve probably seen worst stuff ups by a Richmond administration. I mean Tambling.
    Matt Carmichael this substantially brightened my arvo

  5. Corey Wickert

    I guarantee Jack Reiwoldt will still be whinging and stating the bleeding obvious in 2081 should he live to 93

  6. Jarrod Butcher

    Craig Higgins Josh Philips Josh Gregory this is very funny !! Good humour

  7. Nathan Moy

    Great read just sums up the season really U0001f602U0001f602

  8. Gerard Marquis

    Glen Ross Ross Wintle Mel Gallagher Stacey Heberle – this isn’t even funny anymore!!

  9. Matt Carmichael

    “A source close to the negotiations said the mistake may be a result of the Tigers insisting on completing all paperwork using crayons.”

  10. Mark Judd

    Between, Jake King and Dustin Martin surely someone knows someone…

  11. Matt Carmichael

    I’m gonna stop randomly quoting parts because I’ll end up listing the whole article

  12. Danny Palmer

    Jamie Barnes Jack McHale Jacob Smith Luke Docherty JC Collie good titus

  13. Peter Burns

    Steven Burns Peter Smith Fiona Murphy Annalee Stallman surprised at all? 😛

  14. angusgmelb

    TitusOReily Nice (intentional?) Better Call Saul reference.

  15. SkipperKirk

    TitusOReily Unlike most footy journos you always have so many quotes in your articles. You really go the extra mile to deliver the facts

  16. David Wrigley

    Saban. Surely this is good news?! U0001f605U0001f605

  17. Dans147

    TitusOReily read the title and started laughing already. Just about to crack a beer in the spa for some good reading.

  18. Kiriana Meha-Bettison

    I just read this haha. Made me cry on the inside but he’s so funny!

  19. Paul Schroeder

    I’ve seen worse, our second round draft pick for Shaun Hampson…

  20. James Reid

    Marcus ‘Ivan’ Sharman Brendan Atkin Douglas McCabe Good News!

  21. BreeBarclay

    The only good thing about supporting Richmond is reading Titus’s articles.

  22. Sam Dowling

    Nick Bell-Allen Matt Cooper-Wilson Simon Dowling Yanni Baveas made me lol

  23. Anthony Laughton

    Ross Lyon’s restumping, rewiring, re-plumbing. Hardwick’d have the time to reestablish a new Australian continent.

  24. Sean Cummiskey

    Braiden Camm Luke Paterson Jess Cummiskey haha

  25. Brenda Koochew

    Anita Brens. No, the work experience kid wasn’t him!

  26. Anita Brens

    U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602U0001f602 I was just about to ask the exact question! U0001f64a

  27. Nathan Thompson

    Bahaha I like where you’re going with this U0001f602U0001f602

  28. Jordan Coombe

    Josh Keain Adam Gordon just about his best ever

  29. magpie_042

    TitusOReily how was it a typo when its written in crayon your article has more holes than Richmond_FC defence

  30. Ian Galbraith

    As a Tigers man painful, but oh so funny Titus.

  31. Aaron James

    Tim Hartigan – all in good fun. But really, after the last game we should quit the afl and move on the the ANZ netball championships

  32. TitusOReily

    magpie_042 Richmond_FC I can feel a report to Mediawatch coming on.

  33. Jake Ashton

    Well I’m fine with not winning a flag in my lifetime, so this is good news!!

  34. magpie_042

    TitusOReily Richmond_FC well done titus, FREE KICK HawthornFC

  35. Fraser Rettie

    Inspired by a recent episode of Better Call Saul perhaps? Mind you it wouldn’t surprise me if we were that stupid

  36. Shane Goodall

    Shaun Surtees Caleb Poole Joel Goodall. Buckle up boys. #2095YearOfTheTigers

  37. Dannielle Cornwell

    U0001f62dU0001f62dU0001f62dU0001f62d he’ll never leave !!

  38. Liam Cross

    Following the success of his current tenure at the helm Midda Happy Kyle

  39. James Raimondo

    Jake Langenegger Riley Henry Tambling staunched

  40. Ian Swann

    This news is as bad as Hardwick’s game plan from 1820

  41. Howard Byrnes

    Probably a true story. Peggy O’Neal valuing stability more than premierships.

  42. Pauline Slavin

    How dare you like this Robert Murphy, how rude!!!!!!!!!!!!

  43. MattyBAus

    GunnersDwnUnder TitusOReily How far into the 5 year plan would that be?

  44. Billious

    This country is full of short term planning at last some common sense comes into the game.  Tigers can start to plan their infrastructure around Hardwick, wheel chair ramp, oxygen tanks en-route to rooms, bed pan galley with pans spaced 5 metres apart (closest to silverware opportunity available) and of course photo gallery of the 25 captains Hardwick outlasted.

    A memorial of course has to be created to commemorate, as Titus has previously stated, the only team to be beaten in a final by a side that failed to make the finals to ensure no one at tiger land forgets that day in a hurry.

    If Victoria was to go to the polls Dan the man would promise to rid us of these future  infrastructure opportunities by tearing up Hardwick’s contract (based on sound legal advice) and pay each tiger member a thousand dollars for the pain and suffering they have endured for years past and years ahead.

  45. Daniel Griffiths

    Scott Peters bit like the admin error which kept Kayne pettifer on the list back in the day

  46. Joanne Everett

    Are sure I did not type up the contract? Famous for my typos. Dixlecic . If he signed it will this is it legal? Oh, Yeah!

  47. Scott Peters

    Haha you know what I saw this earlier and thought of you! Yes the P-train as he referred to himself. We love a good admin error at punt road, our current one is Todd Elton, he’s been on the list 5 years and played two games… I think Dimma forgot he drafted him!

  48. Kate Harkness

    Are you suggesting I was the work experience kid? U0001f620

  49. Michael Higgs

    I’m suggesting anything anything but if the cap fits…..

  50. Scott Peters

    …that 5 years includes twice being recontracted or as it’s now known as a case of #pettifergate

  51. SpaceGhost72

    InteriorsAvenue dugaldjellie TitusOReily Sometimes I think every Richmond membership should come with a complimentary microwave oven!

  52. InteriorsAvenue

    SpaceGhost72 dugaldjellie TitusOReily Or an enormous stress ball!

  53. Christopher Lewis

    “This typo has actually enabled Damien to focus on the kids and even the yet to be conceived children of those kids.”

  54. terrylancashire

    TitusOReily Did the contract typist have dyslexia ?

  55. ResurrectedEvil

    TitusOReily Clearly this is a freekicktohawks.

  56. Robert Murphy

    I was appreciating his writing… Not supporting his thinking!!!

  57. adampaykel

    TitusOReily did the same thing happen MorasHorrors?

  58. cheerscobberta

    TitusOReily and a fact that has been overlooked Carlton and Melbourne winning on the same weekend, last time that happened $2 was a note.

  59. Stephen_Tighe

    TitusOReily Radio disc jockey Kevin Bartlett congratulated the move

  60. Brendan Atkin

    “Really, I’ve probably seen worst stuff ups by a Richmond administration. I mean Tambling.” Pow.

  61. GunnersDwnUnder

    MattyBAus TitusOReily meh let’s just round it off to about a century

  62. Dylan Costello

    Was this a comment for the public which you decided to tag me in afterwards?

  63. Luke Nelson

    Haha your coach David Wood. Sammy Aston, Dean Fothergill, Dale Hawkes

  64. Harry Campbell

    To develop youth at the club over the long term.

  65. Damian Fenoughty

    Rian Luke Justin Trent Sam so much stability at Richmond!

  66. Paul Bourke

    So so sad. After last years Oct draft , list manager Dan Richardson said we won’t be looking for a ruck man for 18 months!! First game this year Shaun Hampson is our no 1 ruck man!! Dan you’ve gotta be on drugs!!

  67. Lynton Manuel

    Ninth may not look so bad in a 30 team competition…

  68. Louis Blitsas

    Hardwick should do the right thing and ask his best mate to come take over. It sickens me to think that Eddie as much as Buckley is his love child would not hesitate to dump him if Clarkson would come over and us Richmond, cashed up etc wouldn’t even bother asking the question. If GR or I were in charge Clarko’s manager would have had a contract in front of him beginning at $10m for 5 years .

  69. digitalwoch

    TitusOReily I suspect Titus may be a fan of a certain “colourful” lawyer who studied in American Samoa

  70. Annette Lynch

    Is no one going to call this bloke on this comment?

  71. bomberdi

    TitusOReily Maybe they’ve extended it so long coz he’ll be on his pension by then so that will = free coach ☺

  72. bomberdi

    TitusOReily PS … only joking, after all he’s an ex Bomber U0001f609U0001f606

  73. ozpostguru

    Who is Titus oreily? Is this his real name or a non de plume? Is he really mark fine in disguise? Is he a credited afl journo? If you have the time Titus would love to know the answers to these questions. Thanks oz post guru

  74. Sam Rowe

    “Richmond cannot afford to pay out Hardwick’s contract now until the mid 2060s….Hardwick will have the rare opportunity to coach the children, of the future children, that will play at the club” U0001f602U0001f602U0001f606U0001f602

  75. Lauren Stammers

    Matt Stammers dad didn’t find this funny U0001f602U0001f602

  76. Andrew Clark

    Not funny Andrew Gates! Will be the first to remind you of this stuff when you endure similar atrocities as Hawthorn 1992-2007

  77. Andrew Gates

    lol…sometimes laughter helps! i would say 1995-98 and 2003-2006 (99 won night flag, 2000 a final, 2001 2 and 2007 1. 04 draft wasnt bad either Roughead Franklin Lewis. At least when my time comes…i will have lots of GF dvds!

  78. Louis Tsui Po

    By the time his contract is over we may have forgotten about the 2012 Essendon team… George Khreish

  79. Michael Charlton

    Aaron fiora over Matthew pavlich is one that springs to mind.

  80. Mark Robinson

    Haha this is gold! Glenn Hamilton Stuart Greig Leigh Roy Paul Crabtree

  81. Mark Robinson

    Titus has a real gift. I chuckled at numerous parts of this tall tale!

  82. Darrell Scott

    1992,93,94 and 96 Hawks made the finals all of those years- 99 won Pre-season comp, just missed finals and Crawford won Brownlow Medal- 2000 made finals, 2001 made Prelim and only a kick away from GF -2007 made finals and was the arrival of Buddy

  83. Andrew Clark

    Thanks for joining a private conversation between friends Darrell Scott…who ever you are??? Go lick your wounds from the weekend….prior to another flogging on Friday night from the team that considers you their bunnies….but are themselves bunnies for the other 16 teams!!!

  84. two bob

    if he seen out his contract Richmond still wouldn’t of won a flag

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